White Elephants: A Blog About Bipolar and Mood Disorders, Mental Illness and Survival

I am blogging again.

2012-01-31T06:12:00.000-08:00

Raising a bipolar child is just so very hard, and I have found that without you, my bloggy friends, I don't really have the full circle of moral support that I need. Hearing your own stories gives me hope and impetus to pray and hope for a cure.

Anxiety, now that is a topic we deal with at home every day: my own, my husband's, and our daughter's and we have three ways of dealing with it (the healthy choices because we all know and have tried the unhealthy ones):

1. Intense exercise every day. Seriously, not to lose weight or be some kind of triathlete, but because those endorphins are a must. 30 minutes of brisk walking, yoga, the elliptical, whatever.

2. Meds when you need them. If you need more of an antidepressant, or the add on of an anti-anxiety med, for you or your kid (be careful with ADs if they are truly bipolar) then don't hesitate. Try Calm PRT, an all natural anti-anxiety supplement (can be bought from Professional Nutrients) which also seems to work well.

3. Take a deep breath when you feel like things are out of control, and call an understanding friend and vent. Or memorize soothing, hope-giving verses like Psalm 91 or Psalm 16 and post it on your fridge.

Say no to overcommitments but don't insulate yourself so much you lose touch with the people who uplift you.

Blessings, Megan

A Post From My Daughter on Coping With Anxiety (Do's and Don'ts from a Kid's Perspective

2012-01-25T09:12:00.000-08:00

Happy Wednesday to you ALL! I hope your week is going okay so far.

I'm just dropping in to share a post my daughter, Jaimie, did on our 'The Gift' blog. Jaimie lives with Spectrum issues, SPD and general/social anxiety. I wrote about our initial struggles with finding the right assessment, diagnosis and therapy for her in my book, Not Just Spirited: A Mom's Sensational Journey with SPD.

One thing with Jaimie is that she is very verbal and creative. We've used these pathways in reaching her and she's done very well. She also loves to know she helps others so we came up with the idea for her to post about some of the things she goes through and how she copes with them. She's one brilliant girl, I tell ya.

This week, she's talking about what it's like struggling between wanting to experience fun things with her friends but worrying about how those experiences will make her feel. She shares her feelings as well as a few 'Do's and Don't's' and thought it might be helpful for some of you out there, or for those who have a child in their lives living with high anxiety.

Click HERE to be taken to her post and feel free to share your own stories or leave a comment.

See you again soon when we'll take another step on our Wellness journey!

Knowledge Is Power: Learn About Child Abuse So You Can Help Stop It!

2012-01-18T08:35:00.000-08:00

Many of you know how passionate I am about helping children who have been abused or otherwise victimized. Children are easy targets for abuse because they are naive, innocent and vulnerable. We need to do everything we can not only to help children who are currently being abused but also learn what we can do to help stop it from happening in the first place. And we do that, as with anything, by arming ourselves with knowledge.

I work closely with a local charity called, Zebra Child Protection Centre. A huge part of what they do is educating the public on child abuse and child protection. They have many wonderful resource on their site, including an entire page discussing different forms of child abuse, signs that it's happening and suggestions on what you can do if you suspect a child is being abused.

The most important thing to remember is that abuse isn't always visible. A person doesn't have to physically hitting a child for him to be suffering. He could be enduring abuse in the form of verbal, emotional, sexual, or mental or even be neglected. It's important not only to understand each of these areas in general but also how each affects the child specifically so that you have the tools to help him or her.

I'll be blogging more about this issue over the next month or so, along with our regular posts, as we really need to be doing more as a community to help these kids. Help me help these kids define a new path in their lives and be everything they were meant to be.

Second Step To Wellness Within: What We WANT Others To See

2012-01-09T21:58:00.000-08:00

Welcome back to another 'Wellness Within' segment! If you couldn't join in on the last exercise, no worries. These steps aren't easy! And I'm doing them right along with you so I 'get' it. It's really hard delving into areas we have always avoided or are afraid of. But it's all part of becoming who we're meant to be and reaching our Wellness Within.

Last time, I suggested taking a picture of yourself and naming at least 10 things that you saw in yourself, ingoring all the negatives you think you see. I got some great feedback! So I thought today we could do an exercise where you list what you'd really like others to see in you, focusing again on all the good stuff. Here we're going a bit deeper...beyond what others see...and right to the heart of you.

Like before, I'll go first. Ready?

Okay. I'm using the same picture as last time because, well, it's one of the few on my own without my kids. (HA!) Here we go:

1) I'm stronger than I seem.
2) I'm smarter than I let others see.
3) I'm scared of success but use that to motivate me to keep forging ahead.
4) I have a bottomless heart.
5) I fear love but I love deeply.
6) My kids mean everything to me.
7) I'm not afraid to stand up for myself, those I love the most or something I believe in.
8) I am a strong ally.
9) I have a wicked sense of humour.
10) I care.

Well, that's my list. What can you see in your heart? What good would you love others to see more of in you? Please share.

That's it for this time. I hope your Monday went well.

An Important Message On Defining YOURSELF

2012-01-07T14:50:00.000-08:00

A dear friend of mine posted this message on her Facebook page. She borrowed it from the Narcissistic Abuse Facebook page and I felt it was so important for those of us who are judged each day for the hurdles we face and try coping with every day.

Write this down, keep it close and remember: You can't do any better than the best you can do.

Much love to you on this Saturday!

First Step To Wellness Within: Looking Inside

2012-01-02T14:09:00.000-08:00

One thing that I've dealt with for as long as I can remember - since I was in my single digits - is intense, overwhelming anxiety. And it can be terrifying.

What can be worse than not knowing how your body will react to something or someone? What can be more scary than not feeling control over those reactions? And how worrisome is it when you reach that point where your reactions and fears get away from you and you just...can't...bring...them...back? It's crushing. It's would be compared to the feeling of having a plastic bag over your head and the bag clinging to your air passages when you're breathing in. You panic, causing you to breathe even more rapidly...more desperately and all that happens is that plastic sticks even more aggressively.

That's how panic attacks feel to me. And this is one of the things I really want to get a handle on in the New Year.

This is one area that share with my oldest daughter, Jaimie and I'm going to help both of us take a more positive approach to coping with it. Right now, I chose to cope without medication but am not opposed to the medication down the road if nothing else works. We're going to take baby steps...as with all that we do around here.
I think the most important part to making any sort of change or new approach to living is start with figuring out who we are so we can figure out who we're supposed to be. A friend of mine came up with a really great exercise to tap into this. The purpose is to see ourselves for who we really are...outside of whatever hurdles we're dealing with. It gives us a positive, omniscient view of how we see ourselves. And when we're dealing with anxiety, depression or other emotional/mood disorders, it's so important to clean out the negative. We need to surround ourselves with positive and healthy and clean out the self-destructive stuff.

SO, here's the exercise. You get a picture of yourself. One that you love, that makes you feel beautiful or that you think represents the real you. Then you list 10 to 15 things you see. But this list should not include what's wrong (or what you think is wrong) with you. Draw out the positive, the good, the wonderful. Here, I'll go first (and I really don't like doing these exercises. I find them truly difficult. But they'll get easier. Trust me.):

What I see in me:

1) I'm a healthy weight.
2) I have nice eyes.
3) I should smile more because it's kinda cute.
4) I love to laugh, which you can tell by my laugh lines.
5) My nose isn't nearly as big as I believe.
6) I (finally) like the color of my hair.
7) I have a nice complexion.
8) My eyes have a knowing depth.
9) I seem happy.
10) I'm flirty.

That's what I see in my picture today. Now it's your turn. Try this exercise and see what you can see in yourself at this moment. We'll try it again in the near future just to 'check in' with ourselves.

Next time, I'm going to show you an exercise on digging deeper to what else is good inside that we don't often allow ourselves to celebrate. =)

Wellness Within for the New Year.

2012-01-01T21:12:00.000-08:00

Welcome to 'White Elephants' for 2012!

I know that I haven't kept up with writing here as much as I'd like to but that's all going to change in the New Year. I'm going to be working on achieving Wellness Within throughout this year and want to bring you along with me.

On top of bringing you the latest research news, articles, inspiring interviews and book reviews, I'm also going to talk about the things I'm doing (and not doing) to bring myself back to inner wellness that I've steered away from in 2011. I was hit pretty hard with a few setbacks, both personally and professionally, which I allowed to take over my emotional and mental functioning. But I also had some fantastic things that happened to me to and those will be what I'll draw from for strength to get back on track.

I'm not making Resolutions...those never seem to pan out for me. But I am going to make small goals and take baby steps to make this the best year I can possibly make it. I am constantly saying, "Don't let others define who you are; be strong enough to define yourself."

So that's exactly what I'm going to do. Will you join me?

Understanding Social Anxiety in Children, Tweens and Teens (A Guest Article From Autism Asperger's Digest Magazine)

2011-12-27T13:39:00.000-08:00

I know we have several people out there who have children living with social anxiety, myself included. All four of my children suffer with some form of it but two of my children, Jaimie (nine) and Xander (five) have forms of it that interfere with their overall functioning. That's the difference.

Both Jaimie and Xander also live with SPD, which can actually increase the intensity of social anxiety because they constantly worry about how certain people, situations or events will make their bodies feel. They fear their reactions to sensory stimuli. Through therapy, we've learned to help both of them cope with their individual sensory needs and this, we hope, will help them feel better in social situations. Now that they've learned some effective coping tools, they know what to do to help get them through their day. We still have up and down days but it's getting better. And it can for you too.

I was given an article to share with our 'White Elephants' readers and hope it can help many of you out there help your socially anxious child. There are some great points in this article and strategies to try. The best way to help your child is to understand his condition first then you can learn how to teach him the best tools suited to him.

Enjoy!

[**The fine folks at Future Horizons, Inc. and Autism Asperger's Digest shared this article with Chynna for the specific purpose of posting for 'White Elephants' readers. Please do not share further without the expressed permission from Future Horizons, Inc. and Chynna. Thanks so much.**]

The Spirals of Social Success and Failure

Taken from “Social Anxiety and Social Skill Competencies”

by Michelle Garcia Winner

[An article in the Autism Asperger’s Digest (www.autismdigest.com).]

This article is in the recent issue!

My goal was to find a way to help our clients decrease anxiety while increasing their social competencies. The result was a treatment strategy called the Spirals of Social Success and Social Failure.

I developed this approach for high-level teens and young adults who had first developed social competencies and were now ready to explore social anxiety. We discovered this teaching strategy helped motivate them to challenge their anxiety by giving them alternative strategies to use when stressed by specific social situations. An overview of the social concepts we shared with clients, as well as the description of the spirals, follows.

Social anxiety has deep tentacles; once it disrupts our functioning it likes to keep that power in place! Once it inhabits a person, anxiety will not go away without a fight. This means as our students recognize they have increased social competencies, they have to actively work at reducing their anxiety. This involves learned strategies, as well as their own shift in perception in making a choice in the moment: are you going to default to anxiety or use your strategies?

Some of the key social learning–social anxiety reduction strategies we teach our clients include:

1. Take ownership; be personally accountable for what you need to learn. After many years of working with adolescents, I realized that while I understood they had social learning differences, as long as I prompted them to use their strategies, I was the one taking ownership of their problems. Now I realize that as I teach them these strategies, they have to work at using them, which first means they have to realize these strategies are theirs and not ours (the teachers and parents).

2. Accept that your job is to become more comfortable with social discomfort. The neurotypical teen and adult world is filled with social discomfort. Using strategies does not mean our clients won’t feel discomfort. Their job is to work at learning how to be comfortable with the fact they will be uncomfortable socially at times! The mentor’s job is to encourage the client to use the treatment strategies even when experiencing discomfort.

3. Recognize and celebrate the small steps of progress being made. We need to help our students feel intrinsically proud of themselves for their progress. Avoid using token rewards for progress as these provide extrinsic but not intrinsic motivation.

4. Use your inner coach, rather than your self-defeater voice, inside your head. You and I use an “inner coach” or “private voice” in our heads to encourage and motivate ourselves through difficulties. Our inner coach may say to us: “You can do this!” “Just do it and get it over with!” “Remember last time this wasn’t as bad as you thought it was going to be, so just go do it!”

Unfortunately, many of our students have a “self-defeater” voice in their heads. This voice discourages rather than encourages: “You’re bad at this.” “You’ve never been able to do this, so you won’t be able to do it now.” Individuals who have a loud self-defeater voice in their heads will default to avoiding the uncomfortable task at hand; those with an inner coach have a far better chance of pushing themselves through the uncomfortable task. We need to help our students be realistic about their strengths and challenges while reinforcing their choice to use their inner coach as much as possible.

5. Stop making excuses for avoiding social encounters. Those with strong self-defeater voices tend to find a lot of benign excuses for avoiding the task at hand. Many of our students don’t recognize that what they are saying is, in fact, an excuse for not pushing themselves through an uncomfortable moment. Instead, they automatically default to their excuses. Our strategy is to explore the personal excuses they make as we assign them tasks that provide opportunities to practice social competencies and use their anxiety-reducing strategies. Once students begin to notice and then take ownership of the fact they are making excuses, they further progress.

6. Your brain always learns; whether it learns positive or negative ways to cope, it is always learning! We discuss how our brains are always learning, all the time, that anytime we are awake we are learning from our experiences. If we “default” to what we are accustomed to doing, we constantly teach our brains we can only do it the way we have done it before. If students want to teach their brain a new set of skills, they have to try to do things differently. This idea may seem elementary, but it can be difficult for our concrete-thinking, rule-bound students to change the way they do things, especially their thinking patterns. I often ask them a direct question: “Do you want to teach your brain you can’t do something, or do you want to teach your brain you can do something?” Hopefully their answer is a “can-do” response, and we circle back to our other strategies to help them retrain their brain.

The Spirals of Social Success and Social Failure

Visual representations are strong—and welcomed—tools in helping our students understand the interrelationships that exist in social thinking and social processing. To help our students understand the concepts outlined in this article, I developed two graphic representations of the thought processes used in working through social situations. The Spiral of Social Success summarizes these concepts:

· You will encounter some stress approaching this situation. In the past your anxiety would prompt you to bail out of this situation. Instead of starting by doubting yourself, explore what strategies you can use to help yourself deal with the uncomfortable social situation.

· Use your inner coach to remind yourself how much better you will feel once you use your strategies—that you are capable of using these strategies as well as choosing specific strategies to use.

· You feel better about yourself when you are demonstrating your abilities or social competencies.

· This encourages you to use the strategies.

· In doing so, you are training your brain that “you can do it” better than you have done it before!

Conversely, the Spiral of Social Failure illustrates what happens when our clients fail to embrace their social-learning–social-anxiety reducing strategies:

· You encounter the same stressful situation, one you previously avoided.

· Your anxiety prompts you to think of excuses for why you won’t engage in this situation today.

· Your self-defeater voice assures you that you can’t do it and that you have never been able to do it.

· You have negative emotions about your inability to get through this situation.

· You avoid putting yourself in the situation.

· You teach your brain one more time that you cannot do it! Your memory now reflects your inability and your self-defeater voice grows stronger.

The purpose of the Spirals of Social Success and Social Failure was to help our students understand how best to place the strategies they were learning in the context of their own functioning.

Our students helped us adjust the spirals so the wording more clearly matched their own experiences and emphasized how they related to the content of each spiral. This visual presentation paired with lessons that taught them the key concepts outlined in the graphics—increased accountability, self-learning, letting go of excuses, and embracing change—led to some very positive results.

They discovered they could choose positive behavioral responses to anxiety-laden situations and retrain their brains to learn new ways of acting and reacting. While the situations still caused anxiety, our clients gained confidence in attempting to push through their anxiety, further reinforced by the success they could achieve within the interaction. However, this learning process takes time. It may take years to help our students, through active learning of these strategies, to get them onto the Spiral of Social Success.

Some level of anxiety is inherent in every social situation we encounter. This set of strategies does not offer a cure for the anxiety experienced by individuals with social learning challenges. However, it can help minimize some of the anxiety by helping our students better appreciate how anxiety affects us and giving our students a toolbox of options to use when anxiety arises.

Such coping strategies are beneficial—not just for individuals with social learning challenges, but for us all!

Michelle Garcia Winner is the founder of Social Thinking®. She works in her clinic in San Jose, CA, has written numerous books, and speaks internationally. Visit her website, www.socialthinking.com, for more information.

How are YOU today?

2011-12-22T08:48:00.000-08:00

Look how much time has gone by since I've last written to you all. I am so sorry about that. I could say that life has gotten crazy-busy and that having to rearrange my priorities (again!) has taken away from some of the things I love doing...but that's not a great excuse. I should still check in with you more often.

So...I'd like to ask you: How are you today?

How are you feeling? Are you getting through the stress of the Holiday Season okay? Do you have a strong support network to lean on when things seem overwhelming or 'too much'? Are you making sure to take care of YOU and do at least one 'you thing' each day?

I really want to know. I do!

The Holidays have always been tremendously difficult for me, even when I still had my grandparents with me. So I know how hard it can be some days around this time of year and how nice it is to have one person who cares enough to ask the questions I just did.

So, check in with us if/when you can. And if you can't, know that someone out here cares enough to ask: How are YOU today?

An Insightful Article About Treating ADHD from LIFE MEDIA

2011-12-04T20:47:00.000-08:00

I know there are a few caregivers out there who have children (or are coping themselves) living with ADHD. The question many of us have is, "Does my child really live with this serious disorder or is she having reactions to toxins, food allergens or stressful surroundings?"

It's so important to investigate all possibilities, and eliminating them, before turning to medications to treat these conditions. Medicating a child, or anyone, when she doesn't need to be can have devestating results.

Life Media presented an article on this subject and I thought some folks out there might be interested in checking it out. Feel free to pass it along to others you feel would benefit from this information. Click HERE to be taken to the link.

I hope you're all enjoying a relatively smooth start to the Holiday Season! I'll be writing more on handling depression through Christmas, as I know many of us are facing mood and emotional disoders this time of year. And it can be difficult. I'm there too! Let's get through it together. =)

Reminders To Help Get Us Through Life's Toughest Times

2011-11-29T20:32:00.000-08:00

While going through my emails this morning, I came across my StumbleUpon picks for the week. I don't always click on them but the choices are awesome. Really, it's a site that helps you filter through all the kajillian websites out there and connects you with the best ones based on your interests. It's actually quite good.

Anyway, one of my interests are sources of inspiration...you know, books, quotes, blogs, etc. One that was suggested to me in this week's picks was a phenomenal blog called, "Marc and Angel". It's basically a blog where these two lovely people give us hope, inspiration and aspiration to live a happier life. This list actually made me cry. It's a list of 70 things we should remember to help us get through tough times.

As most of us here are coping the best we can with issues such as depression, bipolar or other sorts of emotional or mood struggles, it's essential for us to have inspiration to reach for when the days are gloomier or when we just can't find that hope on our own.

Read this list, print it off and keep it close.

And thank you Marc and Angel.

BRING IT ON! Another amazing resource from my dear friend, Lee Horbachewski

2011-11-27T20:33:00.000-08:00

I was thrilled to have the amazing Lee Horbachewski join us a couple of months ago for the kick off to her amazing ebook, A Quiet Stong Voice (click the link on the right to check it out!) Now I'm excited to help her promote her next installment, Bring It On: How I Beat the October Blues.

Lee has gone through so much in her life but instead of allowing those experiences to define her, she's turned it all into a positive by helping others with depression and other emotional disorders. She'll be featuring different segments from her book as follows:

Monday November 28th: Introduction

Tuesday November 29th: Chapter 1 – Stand Up with Healthy Boundaries for myself

■Boundaries for Physical Health
■Boundaries for Mental Health
■Boundaries for Relationships

Wednesday November 30th: Chapter 2 – Speak Up and ask for help with real life connection

■30 Day Real Life Connection Challenge
■Help comes from the least expected places
■Revising my Emotional Support Plan

Thursday December 1st: Chapter 3 – Show Up with kindness, love and gratitude

■Kindness and compassion for myself first and then others
■Love vs Fear
■Daily Gratitude goals

I know I'll be tuning in each day. I admire Lee so much because she's taken the experiences in her life and turned them into a positive by helping others. And I'm so proud to call her my friend. Be sure to check these out and share them with someone in your life who may need the help but not know how to ask for it.

You can share the information via:
Twitter @SimpLee_Serene or @IAmBrave_CA
Facebook www.facebook.com/simpleeserene1
www.facebook.com/iambrave1

Book Review: Daughter of the Drunk at the Bar (Michelle O'Neil)

2011-11-25T22:00:00.000-08:00

DAUGHTER OF THE DRUNK AT THE BAR
Publisher: Full Soul Publishing (August 11, 2011)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0615509010
ISBN-13: 978-0615509013

The second I came across the title for this book, I knew I had to read it. For any of us who have had a parent who literally was, 'the daughter/son of the drunk at the bar', this is a must-read.

The book touched me on so many levels because I know all too well what it's like having a parent who drinks beyond access WAY too often. And I also empathize with the things that a child can be vulnerable to when a parent is in that state.

This book starts off with 'Janie' as a grown woman. Her sister, Hilary, calls her to let her know that their father is on the verge of threatening to kill himself...again. She doesn't know what to do and 'Janie' seems indifferent. She cares but this is nothing new to what she's gone through most of her life.

Then the book goes back in time to how 'Janie' grew up and, believe me, this isn't for the faintest of hearts. This poor girl grew up in a household where Dad was off at the bar almost every night and mom lived with her tunnel-visioned glasses on. She chose not to see the terrible conditions that her children were growing up in or the cries for attention and help from her daughters or even what the father subjected them to. I think the part that made me most sad was the open sexuality that was going on that no one talked about. And it wasn't until Janie was a grown woman in college that she realized she had experienced abuse.

I won't go into too much detail because I think it's so important for readers to experience this book for themselves. But as an abuse survivor, I am so grateful to Michelle for having the courage to come forward and discuss the issues raised from her life experiences. For every 'Daddy's girl' who has gotten too close; for every family who has that family member who has dranken a bit too much too often but hasn't addressed it; for every girl who doesn't think she's been abused, but who can't see the situation the way it should be; for every child who has been neglected and wants to be defined for who you are rather than what you've gone through, you need to read this book.

I was one of those kids but, like Michelle, refused to be a statistic.

For every child with a parent keeping a barstool warm, you can be all you're meant to be.

Thank you, Michelle, for writing this brave memoir.

A Video Review of My Memoir: White Elephants

2011-11-22T09:04:00.000-08:00

Today, I'm taking a little bit of a personal turn to discuss a fantastic review I received for my memoir, White Elephants. My reasons for sharing this with all of isn't to brag or to focus on self-promotion. It's to help emphasize my message to never allow others, or situations we've experienced, to define who we are.

Now this video review was submitted by Barbara Rollins, who just happens to be one of the editors at Eagle Wings Press, which is the publisher for my memoir. Initially, it may seem to some that she's just being biased, promoting a book she invested in. But it's so much more than that.

You see, it took me years to get this story out. I wrote the first draft right after my mom had died. It was like a regurgitation of emotions, anger and resentment that I'd had built up inside of me since I was a wee girl. I never got the chance to sit down with my mom and clear the air between us before she passed away. The door was left wide open after she died and that, to me, was far more difficult to live with than having her still here just ignoring things.

After that first draft, I 'shelved' the project for several months, not sure if I really wanted to have other people read it. But then I realized not many didn't know about the story. Those involved still weren't talking about anything, even though my mom had died. We were all still very much affected by the things she'd done, by her mental illness that people still weren't acknowledging (and that runs through the veins of all of her children). She left all of her white elephants behind for us to deal with just like she had when she was alive. And that pissed me off. But I had to tell the story the right way.

Yes, I was angry with her, and still am in some ways. But I loved her too. She gave me life. And despite the fact she was talked into having me, my life mattered. And it still does because I'm here now. She gave me gifts of creativity and music that I will carry with me always and that I've passed onto my own children. That is how I wanted to represent our story in White Elephants.

She was a human being who lived with a very serious mental illness that no one ever made her get the right treatment for, no matter how bad things got (and, believe me, things got very bad). This story shows what happens when White Elephants are allowed to take root and grow. It also shows how important it is not to allow those bulky creatures to control who we're supposed to be. We have the power to define who we're meant to be despite any thing we've gone through. Our experiences do not define us; what we learn from those experiences and the strength we draw from them to go on does.

And that's why this video is so important. I'm honored and humbled by Barbara's touching words. I don't think I deserve to be called a hero. I'm just someone who chose not to allow what I've gone through to run my life. I can't let it run my life. White Elephants isn't a 'Mommie Dearest' type of book (it was when I first wrote it but has been lovingly edited to be real.) It's a story of self-realization, of understanding, and forgiveness. And above all else, it's a story of finding our own path in life and being everything we're meant to be, despite where we've been.

Thank you, sweet Barbara. Whenever I feel what I'm doing doesn't matter, I'll watch this video and be hugged by your words.

Does Your Monthly Cycle Affect Your Symptoms?

2011-11-20T21:42:00.000-08:00

When I was growing up, my mom was convinced by a psychiatrist that she was seeing that her intense mood swings had to do with PMS. He never tested her or assessed her for any mood disorders or bothered to locate her medical history for bipolar...he just gave her a bunch of pills (including stuff to help her sleep and Valium) without even checking into the fact that she was already an addict. I was so disillusioned to the medical profession at that point but that pushed me over the edge. Then I realized that my own anxiety and depression symptoms are greatly affected by the hormones raging through my body during my monthly cycle.

It's so cliche that it makes me mad but how many of you out there suffer more during that time? And what do you do to counteract the affects? Here are a few things I do:

Warm bath
Yoga
Pilates
Hard core exercise (weights, high cardio, punching bag, zumba, etc.)
Meditation
Clearing the stress plate (that means saying 'No!' to things you just can't handle at that time. And it's OKAY!)
Going out with trusted friends
Indulge in your favorite creative activity
Journal about your emotions and feelings during this time (I do!)
Reach out to that one trusted person

The point is to know your body, your cycle and how you respond mentally, emotionally and physically to that cycle. I have only about two days that are really out of sync and I know I have to be very rigid in terms of routine and what I can handle during those days. Stay on your meds but be sure to do the natural things that work to help get you through too. And, most importantly, reach out and talk. That's what we're here for!

Share your own stories, tips and suggestions. I'd really like to hear them. I'm going to try finding you all an article on this subject too.

Have sweet dreams!

Chynna's Reads...A Book Review of THE GIFTED ONES by Lisa Vaughn

2011-10-24T14:22:00.000-07:00

THE GIFTED ONES by Lisa Vaughn
Publisher: CreateSpace (April 19, 2011)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 1456506234
ISBN-13: 978-1456506230

All of us have a story in us to share, but very few of us can tell that story in such a way that both connects with readers as well as tells it the way we need to hear it. And Lisa Vaughn has succeeded in doing both.

The Gifted Ones is a coming-of-age story, yes, but it is so much more. Lisa grew up in the 1970's in Middle America in a Catholic home. Her parents were strict but, ironically, had 'white elephants' of their own (eg: her mom liked sitting in front of the television with her cans of beer...mine preferred wine!)

Lisa was innocent to most things going on around her but was never afraid to explore, experiment, figure things out for herself or stand up for what she believed in. She also knew how to 'play the game' of innocence with her parents so she could live the life she wanted, and deserved, to.

The book starts off with Lisa's mother throwing her diary down in front of her.

Her diary.

There are very few invasions of privacy more painful than that. Lisa had me the moment I read that because I've been there. And I knew right then that her story didn't stem from her mother's actions but more from what (and whom) Lisa had written about in her diary.

Her first step was 'introducing' us to her family. Lisa does a phenomenal job of giving the reader her family background but in a wonderfully fresh way. Many authors make the mistake of giving so much background, the story is lost in pages of narrative. Lisa combines narrative with action and dialogue that truly gives us a real feel for what it must have been like for her growing up in her strict, narrow-minded, tunnel-visioned household.

She shared with us how difficult it could be growing up watching all of her friends have fun and exciting adventures while she was isolated and naive about many of the things her peers talked about. Then she got to Junior High and became part of a small 'in crowd' and she blossomed. And that's when she met Selina.

Selina was beautiful. She made Lisa feel things she'd never felt before--about herself, about life and what she wanted to do. They were, as Lisa so eloquently described their relationship, 'The Gifted Ones'. They had a love so strong, powerful and real that most of us yearn to have but never find. But because of what society, and her parents, said was 'right' and 'wrong' they had to keep their relationship private. Things went along well, they made life plans together for the future, then Lisa's mother found her diary and their world came tumbling around them.

Forced to stay apart, Lisa vowed not only to find a way to be with Selina but to have the life with her she'd dreamed of, despite what the world thought. "How could love be so wrong when it feels so right," Lisa asked. And she's right!

I won't spoil the story for you but it will have you laughing, crying, cheering and demanding for justice. Lisa shows us--page after page--how you can get over even the highest of hurdles, and come out of it if on top you just believe in who you are and you have that one person who loves you wholeheartedly. No matter what others say or do, no one can take that away from you. What I loved the most about this book is that Lisa shows that although we don't always have control over who grab onto our hearts, we do have the power--and the right--to embrace that love.

The Gifted Ones is definitely a page-turner and Lisa has told her story honestly yet beautifully and I'm so glad to have been given the opportunity to read it. Bravo to Lisa on having the courage to share her story with the world and giving others in similar situations a platform from which to share their own.

Good luck, Lisa. I know you'll go far. =)

Helping College Students With Anxiety, Stress and Depression

2011-10-21T08:22:00.000-07:00

Many of us have older children starting college this year; some of us are college students. As we all know, college can be very stressful--classes, achieving good grades, getting the work done, etc. It can be easy for anyone to feel overwhelmed, anxious and stressed-out during the college days. But for those of us already feeling this way, college can feel even more heavy on our shoulders.

Entering college with depression or anxiety, and without the proper coping tools, strategies and resources, can be setting yourself up for a downward fall. That's why it's so important to make sure these things are in place even before getting to the school. And, if you haven't done so, know where to turn to when things get too scary.

I want to share a great article with you all from esperanza's latest newsletter. It's about helping college students recognize, deal with and where to seek help for depression and anxiety. Click HERE to be taken to the article.

Enjoy and feel free to pass it along to others you feel will benefit from the information. =)

Guest Post About Runaways From Author, Kathy Handley

2011-10-05T09:00:00.000-07:00

I am so excited for this week's guest post. So many of us dealing with trauma or mental health issues often wonder if 'running away'--either figuratively or for real--would be the answer. It isn't, though, is it?

Author, Kathy Handley, helps shine light on these issues in her new fiction novel Birds of Paradise, and I'm thrilled she's able to stop by White Elephants along her Book Blog Tour with WOW-womenonwriting to talk with us about this.

This will be her first stop with us. She'll also be dropping by 'The Gift' blog this Thursday for a chat about writing, her book and her passion for runaways and the issues they are running from. We'll also be doing a review of her novel Birds of Paradise next Saturday for our Books, Books, WONDERFUL Books segment.

I hope to see you all there. For now, I hope you enjoy Kathy's guest post. PLEASE feel free to share your thoughts, comments and experiences on this subject.

Runaways and Homeless Teens

My first real experience with homeless teens was through the eyes of Jerry Nightingale, who worked with these children in Hollywood. Birds of Paradise, my novel, is based on information from him and filled with my imaginings of how these kids would experience life and what their motivations and desires would be and the possible outcomes of their runaway journeys to Hollywood. But first, I would like to present some of the facts according to Jerry’s first-hand experience.

The reasons for leaving home are myriad. Usually within 24 hours a runaway has been stripped of his resources and then he/she will end up in a dangerous situation, of which there are many, or may be led to resources within the community.

The Day Access organizations provide lunch, clothing, etc. One very important service they provide is searching for a child’s birth certificate that will help him to access social security info and a job. The overnight facilities are segregated by sexual orientation; there are shelter facilities for parents with children, and clinical facilities that primarily handle detox.

Donations can be made to help homeless children and runaways. Connecting with Chris at Skylight Books in Hollywood, who is a volunteer at My Friends Place, prompted me to donate my books, the novel, Birds of Paradise and A World of Love and Envy, as well as other books, fiction and non-fiction, that I have collected over the year, to the organization.

I’ve always been fascinated with the idea that there is, “Truth in fiction.” When I read Susan’s review on Amazon regarding Birds of Paradise, I felt that I had found truth in my fiction. Thanks Susan. I’m still fascinated with the plight of runaways. I’ve been asked it there will be another book with the same characters. Perhaps…

Enjoy Susan’s words and have a lovely day.

I read Birds of Paradise while on vacation in LA – the perfect place to experience Kathy Handley’s powerful portraits of young street people lost and found. Walking around Hollywood I saw her characters in the faces of the crowd and the slumped figures in silent back alleys. She captures the rhythms, dangers, and dreams of Southern California – dreams that are hard wired in many an American soul and have pulled people West since the countries first inhabitants wondered what was on the other side of the mountains.

~ Susan Trausch, author of Groping towards Retirement or How I Learned to Retire, Sort Of

New Novel Addressing Bipolar, Asperger's and Adoption! (WICKED GOOD)

2011-09-22T08:54:00.000-07:00

Good morning to you all!

I wanted to share an interview I just posted on my main blog, 'The Gift', with authors Joanne Lewis and Amy Lewis Faircloth. Their new novel (adult fiction with a YA crossover), Wicked Good, focuses on a young man named Rory and his mother trying her best to cope with the difficulties in raising him. He's an amazing guy with many talents but he also lives with hurdles that often make him feel 'different'.

This is a MUST READ for anyone caring for, or who cares about, a young person living with bipolar, Asperger's and/or adoption. The most amazing part is that even though the story is fictional, many of Rory's experiences come from Amy's personal experiences with raising a child with these same struggles.

Please join us on 'The Gift' and post a comment or ask a question to win a FREE copy of the book. And feel free to share this with anyone you think who could benefit from the story or who needs to relate to it.

Peace and love on this Thursday! =)

Amy (left) and Joanne (right) Lewis.

Finding Your Happy Place

2011-09-19T11:37:00.000-07:00

Picture courtesy of 'The Minimalists' Website

How is everyone out there doing with the changes in season/weather?

Like many of you, I am tremendously affected by the weather and change of seasons--especially when going from warm to cooler. Right now I am exhausted. It's taking so much effort just to get through my day and it's frustrating. Yet when I put my head down for a nap or to sleep, I'm wide awake. Then when I do fall asleep, I'm plagued with horrible nightmares. Of course what happens is that the lack of sleep tends to intesify depression and/or anxiety issues which further interupts sleep. Can anyone relate to this?

This year, I'm working really hard with trying to find my happy place. All that means is surrounding myself with people and things that make me the happiest and feel most fulfilled. I'm hoping this will force me to focus on the positive things in my life rather than allowing them to be clouded over with those negative things that tend to take over. We should all find a way to do this...then winter won't seem as long, cold, tiring and dreary.

So, here's what I'm going to do:

Declutter. I'm going to get rid of all the little stressors that drive me nuts. That means I have to start saying, 'No!' to doing too many projects and focusing only on those that mean the most to me and that I enjoy doing. Decluttering is important because the more we have cluttering our lives, the more stress we feel.
Have a Girls Night Out at least once every couple of weeks. Sharing time with friends gets us out of the house, gets us socializing with 'real' people (rather than just those friends we have online) and reminds us that there's more to us than what's at home each day.
Spend time on my creative love: writing. On Tuesday and Thursday mornings, I have the house to myself for a couple of hours. On these times, I am going to do nothing but writing and editing. Having a creative love/distraction keeps our minds going and reminds us of the other talents we have.
Exercise. It's so important to do some sort of physical activity whatever your favorite happens to be. Make sure to have a healthy combination of some cardio, muscle toning and yoga or Pilates. This way you'll be exercising all the muscles in your body, including your mind.
Eating well. I love to cook and eat. But I know that too much junk makes me feel down. Eat a good balance and variety of foods. Just remember that you need to eat to live but you shouldn't be living to eat. Moderation, right?
Meditate. I'm going to 'clear out' my brain before getting into bed. Maybe that will help eliminate or reduce my dreams.
Journal. Journaling is such an important tool, especially for those of us who aren't always able to shut our minds down. I've even gotten my Jaimie to start journaling and have noticed that her nightfrights have reduced.

So those are a few of the things I'm going to try. I'm sure things will change as I go along but this is a great start. Please feel free to share how you're going to try getting through the change in seasons/weather. Let's do this together, okay?

Using Brain Imaging to Unravel the Mysteries of Stuttering - Dana Foundation

2011-08-24T20:30:00.000-07:00

Stuttering can be a very tough communication hurdle, especially for young people. And it's awesome to see researchers are finding ways to study the causes of stuttering.

I wanted to share an article I found from the Dana Foundation (they are a top resource in terms of brain research and conditions that affect the brain) on how they're using brain imaging to research the possible causes of stuttering. Check it out and feel free to pass it along to those you feel may benefit from this information.

I remember about 14 years ago, I worked at a wonderful law firm. One of the girls who carried documents back and forth for our firm to have filed at the Court Houses for us had a severe stuttering problem. I made sure always to take the time to listen to her because you could see some days--when she was more tired or stressed than usual--how difficult it was for her to get her words out. And it meant so much to her just for someone to have the patience. She was an amazing, beautiful, confident girl who simply had a little more trouble communicating than many of the rest of us do. I often wonder how she's doing on Xander's tough days with speech. And, in retrospect, I think God brought her into my life for a reason and me into hers. And I'm so very grateful.

Enjoy your evening!

Throwing Down Those Crutches!

2011-08-23T21:58:00.000-07:00

Many of us struggling with mental health issues--whether we're in treatment or not--are vulnerable to leaning on maladaptive crutches. Similar to when we hurt our legs or back, we lean on these crutches to help ease us through tough times rather than turning to friends, family or therapists to guide us through. I've done it too so I 'get' it.

These crutches can be anything from the usual alcohol or drugs to things like food, sex, spending, cleaning or any outside action that gives us temporary support and a 'high'. It's crucial that we acknowledge these crutches and also be aware of what our triggers are in turning to them. Once we do that, we can find more postive ways to deal with those triggers.

I've always been someone who internalizes when I'm overwhelmed or stressed then I end up leaning on things I shouldn't rather than on people and activities I should. I've turned to many of these crutches in my life, the most deadly of which was an eating disorder that almost killed me (I went down to a scary 78 pounds!).

I think it's vital to acknowledge the crutches you have in your life (chocolate is an okay crutch as long as you keep it under control! ;) ). If you are aware of them and know why you turn to them, they have less power over you. When you feel overwhelmed by anxiety, stress, depression or other moods, instead of turning to that crutch, you could:

Journal
Be creative - paint, sculpt, dance, sketch, sing
Exercise
Do yoga or Pilates
Meditate
Call a friend, pastor or therapist
Go for a walk
Go to the pet store (visiting animals always makes me feel good)
Anything that distracts you from the stressor but in a positve way.

One thing that is a 'must' is figuring out what those stressors are gravitating you to your crutch. Do this with a therapist or journalling then sharing it with him or her. Once you eliminate the stressors (or reduce them), you'll find the pull to the crutch will not be as strong until you can throw them aside and stand strong.

What is your crutch? When do you turn to them the most? When do you crave them? What are your stressors? How can you cope with those stressors in more effective ways?

Let's talk about it.

A Quiet Strong Voice: An Amazing Light to Follow - Lee Horbachewski

2011-08-22T08:08:00.000-07:00

I am so proud and excited to introduce 'White Elephant' followers/readers to an amazing new resource. Speaker and author, Lee Horbachewski (who we chatted with TODAY over at 'The Gift' blog) is launching her blog today where she'll be reaching out to others living with mental health issues. It's called, A Quiet Strong Voice, and she launches today (August 22).

Lee will post an excerpt from her book, opening up the door for comments, questions or sharing. Then she will come back later in the day to respond to comments and questions as well as to try furthering the discussion or helping those in need find the resources they need to move to the next steps they need to take in healing.

One of the most important things for people going through trauma, mental health struggles or despair is having that one person who will just listen--without judgement, opinions or criticism. I so admire Lee for being brave enough to be that person. And believe me when I tell you that she understands...she's been there.

We'll be sharing links to her blog as she updates and we'll be adding a widget to the 'White Elephants' blog so you can click and venture over on your own. Then feel free to come back here and share. That's what it's all about: sharing, caring and healing.

Bless you, Lee! And thank you for all you do.

Back-To-School Article Links for Caregivers of Kids With Bipolar

2011-08-11T20:07:00.000-07:00

Good evening everyone! I came across some fantastic articles for those of you who have kids with bipolar who are going back to school.

First, we have an article written by Dr. James Waxmonsky with suggestions on helping your child with his morning routine. It can be hard getting them going, right? Check out what he has to say. Next, for those of you with kids going to College this year, here's an interesting article about how to help our older kids cope while going to school far from home. Finally, there seems to be an increase in children between the ages of five and thirteen being hospitalized for pediatric bipolar diagnoses. Why is this? Be sure to read this interesting article on the subject.

If you'd like to receive the BP Magazine newsletter to receive links to articles like these right to your email Inbox, click HERE and sign up!

Admitting My Own Deeper Issues

2011-08-09T16:29:00.000-07:00

I have just gone through an epiphany of sorts. For years I have battled depression, anxiety, irritability, seasonal affective disorder (worse every year) and severe PMS, the kind they now label PMDD. After finding myself blowing up at my kids over nothing just a few too many times, I began to allow myself to examine the possibility that I myself am bipolar. Not Bipolar I, with the giant mood swings between out-of control-mania and even psychosis to depression so deep you don't get out of bed, but Bipolar II or "Soft Bipolar" which is characterized by mood swings ranging from hypomania (overly talkative, overly energetic, maybe spending too much money, having affairs) to a nagging, gnawing depression accompanied by anxiety and even agitated outbursts at times. I have wondered this for years, but everyone kept saying (except my husband and my own bipolar daughter) "No, you are just living with tremendous stress, it is just regular depression, it is circumstantial, you are fine!"

Well, I haven't been fine in a very long time. Years. And the most recent months have been full of so many incidents of me "losing it" with my kids and my husband, way out of proportion to the offenses, and years of spending money we don't have (classic hypomania), I practically crawled into the psychiatrist's office begging for a mood stabilizer. I knew I wanted to try Lamictal and wanted to stop the antidepressants. I have been on at least half a dozen different antidepressants, and also lots of sleep meds just to fall and stay asleep over the last 11 years. The antidepressants always made me feel less depressed but more anxious, go figure. But this is a classic response for a person with bipolar disorder. So is my response to stimulant ADHD meds: severe agitation and anger after first feeling more focused and energized. So the new psychiatrist I am seeing concurred that given my long history (all the way back to my wild, dramatic high school years) I am probably Bipolar II and could really used a mood stabilizer. So I have been on Lamictal for three weeks now, slowly titrating up to 100mg a day, and slowly decreasing the Lexapro I have been on. I FEEL SO MUCH BETTER!! It is like my brain woke up and the agitation and anxiety are melting away day by day. Thank you Lord, that someone finally listened to me and didn't just look at my put together exterior but really listened to the torment that goes on inside of me on a daily basis!!! I long to be a much calmer wife and mother who can handle the bumps in the road that life throw at us every day with grace and self-control. Hey everyone, listen to yourself, look at your symptoms, and know there is HELP for you too!!

By the way, I am reading a book that has helped me understand my symptoms called "Why Am I Still Depressed: Recognizing and Managing the Symptoms of Bipolar II and Soft Bipolar Disorder" by Jim Phelps, MD. This has been such a relief to read and just confirms what I have suspected for a while. Please do yourself or a loved one a favor and buy this book or check it out of the library. It could be a lifesaver!

Chynna's Tips To Help With Sleep

2011-08-05T15:03:00.000-07:00

Happy Friday to you all! I apologize for taking a few days getting this post up but I have been working hard catching up in all the stuff I'd gotten behind in when I was sick. Things are getting clearer and I have more time to make regular posts! YAY!

As promised, I'd like to share a few of the tips on helping to get a good night's sleep that have worked for me. I like following as natural a path as I can before trying medication. I guess because of my family's history with substance abuse, I'm a bit nervous of using medications to help my body do things it should be doing on its own. But I also respect those who have tried everything, gotten to the seriously ill category and need the extra help. Whatever helps you, do it! But I say following a holistic approach--natural with medication, if need be--seems to be the best route.

OKAY! Now what's helped me tremendously over the last few years is having two children with SPD who function best with routine, organization, calming exercises/games (that nourish their nervous systems) and good 'brain food'. I've learned so much from being a 'sensational' mum because in doing these things with and for my kiddos, I'm helping myself too! Isn't that wonderful? Here's what we do:

Get tons of sensory input during the day, especially exercises that tap into the proprioception (muscles and joints) and vestibular systems (balance, coordination, body awareness, etc.). That doesn't mean you have to pump heavy weights or go on a 14 km run. Wrap yourself in a big heavy blanket, get a massage, roll your body on a yoga ball, dance, play a team sport (soccer, baseball, basketball), follow your child around the park. Activities like stretching, swinging, running, rolling, sliding, climbing, pulling, pushing, etc.
Cut down/out caffiene. If you love your java, just don't drink any after about 3:00 p.m. A naturopath once told me that caffiene stays in your system for many hours so drink it early enough that it can get out of your system by rest time.
Don't eat or drink heavily before sleeping. A full tummy can keep you awake and a full bladder will wake you up.
Avoid alcohol, especially before bed. For those of you who enjoy your one or two drinks, be sure not to drink before sleeping. It's a depressant but not only that if you drink too much of it the sleep you have is your brain trying to get it out of your system. It isn't 'true' sleep. And oftentimes, you'll find you'll wake up because once the alcohol wears off, your brain wants to get going again.
Do a relaxing creative activity. It doesn't matter what it is: painting, writing, sketching, poetry, sculpting. As long as it is engaging, something you love doing and relaxes you.
Write out all your stressors. Journaling is an amazing tool. It doesn't work for everyone but I find writing things out really helps me get worries out of my head. The rule you have to apply to this exercise is once its on the paper, you don't let it drift back into your head until the next day. Oftentimes when I've done that I look back on it and think, "Why the heck was I so worried about that?"
Have a set bedtime routine. For my kids it's: bath/shower, reading, glass of milk, massage, tuck ins/goodnights. Find what works for you then stick to that each night as closely as possible.
Go to bed around the same time each night and get up around the same time each morning. All part of the routine.
Make sure your bedroom is 'sleep friendly'. Do you sleep better in pitch dark or with a little light? Is the room cool/well ventilated? Are your bed clothes comfy? Is your mattress/pillow suited to your body's needs? Are all outside distractions tuned out? Do you need a little 'white noise' (eg: fan, nature sounds, music, etc.) to nod off? Figure out what makes you feel most comfortable then work that into your routine.
Keep track of your medications. If your on medication for anxiety, depression, bipolar, etc., be sure to make notes if your sleep patterns have changed since taking them. It's important to let your doctor know as soon as possible before things get serious.

These are just a few of the things I use. There are more and I'll add them as remember (and don't have my youngest jumping all over me while I'm trying to type. HA!)

PLEASE do share you're own tips, suggestions and what works for you. Let's bounce ideas off of one another.

Exercise does much more than the body good!

2011-08-02T20:56:00.000-07:00

I haven't been sleeping well lately. True, it doesn't help having four kids under eight constantly waking me up.

"I only woke you up once," my oldest, Jaimie, said this morning.

She woke me up once, then our youngest got up twice after that and my son--who sleeps with me most nights--was flipping and flopping like a fish on land. Not the best scene for trying to get a decent night sleep, right?

Even on the best of nights, I suffer with insomnia and have as long as I can remember. I wake up after a couple of hours of falling asleep and my brain is alert and ready to go. Or I worry about things. Or my head fills with 'What If's'. Or I wonder whether I'd done everything I could have during the day. You get the idea, right? Does all of this sound familiar?

A couple of months ago, my lifelong fight with insomnia was taking an ugly toll on my body. So I decided once and for all to make some changes to detox and feel better. And by 'detox' that doesn't just involve what I'm eating (although that was included!). It also involves detoxing my mind. And I've found that making sure I get some exercise each day has proved so beneficial. I call it 'calming exercise' because I do stretching, yoga and/or pilates followed up with meditation. All of these forms of exercise are slow, deliberate and really force us to be in-tuned with what our bodies are doing and how it's functioning.

Many people with high anxiety or other issues that have us running around or finding it difficult to sit still find these practices almost irritating, including me. But after awhile, I've found it really helps my mind, body and spirit calm and relax. I still wake up but I've learned how to calm my mind enough so I can fall back to sleep alot faster. So I may only stay awake for a few minutes rather than hours.

I know there are many of you out there who suffer with sleeping issue either because (like me) you can't shut down enough for sleep or your medication may keep you going or other issues. I thought it might be a good idea on how to help each other get those much-needed Z's. Sleep deprivation is hard on your brain, your body and interferes with overall functioning. Tomorrow, I'm going to give some of my tips that have worked for me. I'm someone who will try every natural method I can before turning to medication but if you have found medication that works for you, you can use the tips in conjunction with them.

Feel free to share your own thoughts here or what you'd like help with. Let's see how we can help one another. =)

A shout out to a fellow writer/blogger over at "The Writing Life"

2011-07-31T20:43:00.000-07:00

I've joined several online writing groups both to connect with other writers as well as to get inspiration from them. After all, we all share a love for writing but what we draw from to bring our words out varies. This week, I found great inspiration from a fellow blogger and thought of those following this blog when I read her post.

She wrote a powerful post called Give It A Rest where she bravely talks about her struggles with anxiety and how she's worked hard to deal with and overcome it without shame.

There are many of us who are living with anxiety (myself included!) who often hide away from the world, fearful of being judged or rediculed, rather than just getting out there and living. Please do as this blogger has done and choose the latter. Life has too many beautiful things for us to enjoy to hide from it.

Thank you for this post and for allowing me to share it with our followers! I'm sure you will touch many with your thoughts.

Welcome! And Taking Another Step to the New Me!

2011-07-29T14:21:00.000-07:00

Happy Friday everyone! I hope you're having a great kick off to this long weekend (at least here in Canada!)

First I wanted to send a big 'WELCOME' to all of our new friends who have chosen to follow the 'White Elephants' blog. We plan to work on the blog as the weeks go by making this a more friendly and interactive place. That's my hope. So, thank you for joining us! Feel free to leave comments, ask questions and share our blog with others who may need a place to connect through.

The other thing I'd like to share is that I had some minor corrective laser surgery on my face yesterday. I had to correct some damage done from silly Sun Worshipping I did in my youth but I also got really messy spider veins removed. It's going to take a few treatments but it felt good. The spider veins are partly a result of giving birth (four times)--very tough births. But they were also the result of a near-deadly eating disorder I suffered with for many years and other things I've left behind long ago.

I'm a bit swollen, bruised and sore but it feels good. It's like closing another chapter from my past that I've dealt with but haven't completely been allowed to leave behind. Once my face heals, I'll be able to look at a clean, fresh face as part of my clean, fresh start to my life.

How have all of you done this or continue trying to do this? It's important never to forget the past but equally as important not to let it stay in our present. We learn from it; we don't let it define us. Feel free to share your thoughts and insight!

A Book To Help Caregivers Talk To Their Child About Sexual Abuse

2011-07-27T20:44:00.000-07:00

My Body Belongs To Me by Jill Starishevsky (Safety Star Media, September 1, 2009)

ISBN: 978-0-9821216-0-3

As our children grow up, there are many issues we need to talk them about: Looking both ways before crossing the street, dangers in the house we need to be careful of, not talking to strangers, appropriate ways to behave and treat others, and sex. But one of the most difficult talks we need to have with our children is talking about appropriate and inappropriate touching. How does one even begin a talk like that? How does a parent approach this uncomfortable but very important discussion? I've come across a wonderful tool.

My Body Belongs To Me is a children's book written by author Jill Starishevsky. In addition to writing this book, she works in the Bronx County District Attorney's office prosecuting cases dealign with child abuse and sex crimes. She understand the major importance of empowering children to understand that their body's are their own and other people are not allowed to touch it.

Beautifully illustrated by Sara Muller, the pictures breathe life into the nineteen powerful sentences that describe how we have certain body parts people can see and some that people can't. And that it isn't okay for people to touch the parts that are 'hidden'. The narrator describes how an uncle's friend inappropriately touches her and how uncomfortable it made her feel. He told her it was just their secret but she was brave enough to tell her parents what had happened. In the end, she shows us how what happened wasn't her fault and that no matter what, it's okay to talk to another adult about these things even if we're threatened not to tell.

Jill offers some fantastic suggstions for opening up the table for discussion and how to gently ease into the talk so the child isn't scared or worried. The book is written for the three to ten year old age range, which is appropriate. The only additional suggestion I could give is to make sure that you ease into the talk at your child's understanding level and his ability to understand.

This is a very important book and I applaud Jill for being brave enough to put it out there for children and families. Children need to learn that their bodies are their own and that it is never okay for another person to touch them in ways that don't feel right or to hurt them. Jill helps caregivers open up the subject in a gentle way.

Check out Jill's Website for more information about the book and links to other important resources.

TUNE IN Tuesdays: Working Through the Rough Times

2011-07-26T21:09:00.000-07:00

Like all of you, I've gone through some rough times in my life--I still do! I've worked very hard to become a proactive person who turns to more effective ways of coping than to using crutches. It's so easy to lean back onto those crutches, isn't it? And it doesn't matter what you lean on--drugs, food, sex, shopping, the Internet--it only gives you temporary comfort.

Today was one of those days where I felt myself slipping a little. I haven't been sleeping well and when I get tired, I tend to be more sensitive about things. I tend to take all of life's tiny things--the 'hassles'--to heart alot more easily and obsess about them way more than I should. When I was younger, I probably would have gone out and partied to 'deal' with everything. Now that I have children, I have to set an example on how I deal with tough or stressful times. What's been great practice for me is having two children with SPD who are often in that anxious state and need help regulating their bodies back to a 'calm place'. Helping to teach them to do this has also helped me.

So, today, when I realized those tiny things were bugging me to the level a BIG thing should, I stopped, re-evaluated and did the one thing I always find comfort in: I wrote. I felt better after about half an hour of working on a project and could focus my complete attention on much more important things...like my kids.

My question for this week's TUNE IN Tuesday is: How do you work through the rough/anxious/stressful times? Or how do you help someone dealing with high anxiety to work through it effectively? Let's share our ideas.

Defining Yourself

2011-07-25T13:29:00.000-07:00

In my last post, I talked about the importance of defining ourselves in life. It doesn't matter what we've gone through, what's been done to us or what hardships we've had to face, those experiences to not define who we are or what we become in life.

One thing I promised myself many years ago was that I'd never allow myself to be the statistic that society says I should be. Just because I've been abused, it doesn't mean I will abuse or that I'll become addicted to drugs or alcohol or that I'll be afraid to achieve anything less than success. That's not to say it's been easy. There have been times when those tapes start playing in my head--you know the ones filled with negative statements or that beat me up--and it's difficult to turn them off. But I have to. And so do you.

You may remember in early June we had author Madeline Sharples visit us with a guest post on her experience of raising, and losing, her child who lived with bipolar and other mental health issues. She didn't allow that experience to define her life or to change her. She used it to move forward and help others. That's what I hope to do too. I am honored to be a guest over at her incredible blog, CHOICES, discussing the importance of defining ourselves. I'd love for you to check it out, leave a comment and/or share it with anyone you think may need that support right now.

Until next time...

Resource in the Spotlight: Zebra House Child Protection Centre

2011-07-22T13:53:00.000-07:00

Zebras are curious creatures: They look like horses, they sound like donkeys and they have the most unique coloring in nature. The most significant thing about this beautiful animal is how protective they are of their young. When faced with danger, the entire zebra community forms a circle around its youngest member, assuring their safety. And that's the premise behind today's Resource in the Spotlight:

Zebra House Child Protection Centre

While conducting research for a school paper, I came across a Website for a child protection centre located right here in Edmonton. Being that I was also in the process of writing my memoir White Elephants at the time I was drawn to its mandate. And after learning more about them, I knew I had to connect with them in some way.

This centre is the first of its kind in Edmonton. Drawing from similarly planned places in the US, it brings together the various agencies involved in situations of child abuse (police, Children's Advocacy, Crown Prosecutors and Child Welfare) together with the same goal of protecting our most precious resource: our children. The mandate of this centre is child-focused, meaning that although they guide others involved in the situation to resources they may need (eg: spouses of abusers, other family members, etc.), they care mainly for the child and his or her needs. The ways they help these children are many and it could be something as simple as giving them a place to feel safe amid all the chaos to giving the child a few personal items they had to give up when taken from their homes to choosing a toy.

They care about the little details that kids need and notice but adults often miss. For example, you won't find missing puzzle pieces or game pieces in their game room. All dolls are together, all ponies are together...everything has a place and a place for everything. Imagine the significance and security such tiny things would mean to a child coming from chaos, terror and disorganization. I also loved the idea of the parent room that contained a table and chairs that everyone could sit around and talk rather than a stuffy office environment.

Several years ago, I had the pleasure of chatting with Barb Spencer, Director/CEO. I interviewed her for an article I was going to do. The last words she said to me before we hung up were, "I am so sorry we weren't there for you and your brother all of those years ago."

Holding back tears, I said, "That's okay because you are here for so many children today. And that's incredible!"

It is my hope that Centres like this will be everywhere in the future, working together to help our children. And like the zebras, we'll form a circle around them, protecting them, from things they should never have to endure. THE most important thing this Centre does is empower children to define who they are and where they're meant to be rather than allowing others to do that for them. That's something that would have meant the world to me growing up because I had to figure that out for myself and it was tough.

Please check out our Resource in the Spotlight for today. I finally had the opportunity to meet Barbara face-to-face and was given a tour of the Centre (click HERE to take your own virtual tour). It was profound for me, both emotionally and inspirationally. Barbara and I will be working together on some presentations and lectures in the near future. And from this point forward, a portion of the sale of every copy of White Elephants will go directly to Zebra Centre, helping them carry out their amazing work. I affectionally call them 'My Charity' now and I'll keep you posted on all of this as things progress.

Like the zebras in nature, we need to surround our children and protect them from harm. Help us form the circle.

TELL SOMEONE Tuesday: A Guest Post from Author Madeline Sharples

2011-06-07T06:00:00.000-07:00

For today's 'Tell Someone' segment, I'm thrilled to have author Madeline Sharples join us. She has written a powerful new memoir called, "Leaving the Hall Light On" detailing dealing with her adult son's bipolar disorder and losing him after he committed suicide.

This is not an easy read but, I think, one that needs to be told, shared and embraced. Madeline shows us how important it is not only to understand this disorder but also how vital it is to get these people the help they need and why they need to maintain therapy. She also talks about the difficulty in helping someone you love living with this disorder who is an adult. When do we step in? How can we make an adult stay on their therapy track?

Madeline joins us today as her first stop on her Book Blog Tour with WOW-womenonwriting and I'm thrilled. First we'll have Madeline share her thoughts with us, then we'll share some information about her amazing book.

Raising a Child with Bipolar Disorder

Our son Paul had just turned twenty-one when he had his first manic episode. One day he was perfectly fine, playing the piano at his grandmother’s eighty-fifth birthday party. Two weeks later he was calling us up every few minutes, writing all over his walls with a blue felt-tipped marker, and saying people were lurking in doorways out to get him and poisoning his food and cigarettes. He was a jazz musician no longer able to sit still long enough at the piano to play a song through from the beginning to end.

The doctors, who diagnosed our son with bipolar disorder, said this disorder, caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain and triggered by stress, usually hits young people in their late teens or early twenties. I did not raise a small child with bipolar. I had to care for an adult child with the disorder. Still I asked myself: Could some of the events of his early life been warning signals about how he would turn out?

· an eight-hour surgery and four-hour recovery period at age two to separate his third and ring fingers on both hands,
· his grandfather’s death at age three,
· his brother’s spinal meningitis,
· his social difficulty in school until he went to a private high school when he blossomed as a jazz musician and composer,
· an affair with a thirty-two year old woman when he was seventeen,
· attending college in New York City, and, most of all,
· a history of depression and manic depression in my family.

And because he was an adult I had no control over what happened to him. He refused to give us legal control. I could only care for him if he let me. I cuddled him and rubbed his back, but I couldn’t spoon-feed him like a child anymore. As much as we tried to get him to take his medications – putting them out for him in daily doses or sprinkling them on ice cream to make them more palatable, he took them sporadically and later not at all. Even his girlfriend’s threat to leave him if he stopped taking his medications didn’t convince him to stay on them. He was an adult, and he controlled the outcome. He controlled his destiny.

When he was first diagnosed we literally kidnapped him and took him to the hospital. But he never allowed us to do that again. When his doctors or we called the police to hospitalize him, he was a master at acting normal. Up until the end he worked everyday, so he was able to go about in his “normal” disguise. I knew he was depressed. I worried, but he didn’t let his father or me help him. And at that time, I didn’t know what a deadly illness he had. I never thought that my grandmother’s and uncles’ and my mother’s erratic behavior was caused by a deadly gene passed down to my son.

Thank you, Madeline for sharing this post with us and giving us some important things to think about. I so appreciate you joining us and I wish you so much luck on the rest of your Book Tour as well as with this book. If you have any questions, comments or other pearls you'd like to share, please feel free. And be sure to join Madeline over at The Gift blog on Thursday where she and Chynna will chat more in depth about her writing, Leaving the Hall Light On and more.

**************************

Leaving the Hall Light On: A Mother’s Memoir of Living with Her Son’s Bipolar Disorder and Surviving His Suicide by Madeline Sharples
Hardcover Release: May 2011
Lucky Press LLC

Leaving the Hall Light On is about living after loss. It's about finding peace and balance and various ways the author, Madeline Sharples, brought herself together after feeling so helpless and out of control during her son Paul's seven-year struggle with bipolar disorder and after his suicide in September 1999. Sharples explains: "I write about the steps I took in living with the loss of my son, including making use of diversions to help ease my grief. Leaving the Hall Light On is also about the milestones I met toward living a full life without him: packing and giving away his clothes, demolishing and redoing the scene of his death, cataloging and packing away all his records and books, copying all of his original music compositions onto CDs, digitizing all of our family photos, and gutting his room and turning it into my office and sanctuary with a bay window that looks out toward a lush garden and a bubbling water fountain."

The author's book shares several aspects of her son's illness and how she and her husband, and their other son, Ben, survived Paul's suicide, as it:

1) describes the frustration, anger, and guilt of trying to care for an adult child with mental illness
2) gives mothers and fathers who have experienced a child's death ways to get out of the deep dark hole they are in,
3) tells people the realities of mental illness,
4) describes the steps Sharples took in living with this loss; the first and foremost that she chose to live and go on with life and take care of herself as a woman, wife, mother, writer, and
5) shows readers that grief is love in action. To let ourselves grieve is to feel the depth of our love for as long as it takes. For those of us whose children have died, that may take the rest of our lives, but we will discover the gifts of our loss in the process.
______________________________________

About the Author: Although Madeline Sharples fell in love with poetry and creative writing in grade school and studied journalism in college, her professional life focused on technical writing. It was not until later in life that she finally pursued her dream of being a professional writer.

Madeline co-authored Blue-Collar Women: Trailblazing Women Take on Men-Only Jobs (New Horizon Press, 1994) and co-edited The Great American Poetry Show, Volumes 1 (Muse Media, 2004) and 2 (August 2010). Her poems have been published in two photography books The Emerging Goddess, and Intimacy (Paul Blieden, photographer), and a number of magazines. Visit her at www.madelinesharples.com.

Chynna's Pearls: Top 20 Memoirs Focusing On Mental Illness

2011-05-22T13:45:00.000-07:00

Last week, I was approached by writer, Celina Jacobson from Masters In Health Care. She let me know about an article they'd just posted in their blog called The 20 Greatest Memoirs of Mental Illness and felt our readers may be interested in some of these resources.

I agreed.

As a person who has written a memoir in this area, I understand the importance of putting these books out on the shelves. People can read all the medical journal articles or watch these issues highlighted on the news or in movies but never truly understand unless they speak directly to the sufferers and their families.

They know...they 'get it'...they live it each and every day.

These books are important because they not only teach others they also get people out there talking about these issues and that's the stepping stones to creating understanding and tolerance. We don't write these books to be rich and famous. We write them because the subject matter is important and if just one person out there can be helped or feel less alone or find the resources they need, then it's all worth it in the end.

Check out the list, pass it to others you feel would benefit and help get other people talking. Thank you so much to Celina and to Masters in Health Care for putting together such a list. Does anyone have other important memoirs to add? Please feel free to add them here.

Upcoming interviews: A Memoir From A Mom of a Bipolar Son Who Took His Own Life

2011-05-19T21:22:00.000-07:00

Good evening, everyone. Well, we wanted to open the floor to a very serious issue among those living with/suffering with bipolar disorder: thoughts of suicide.

My mother had them. In fact, she tried killing herself many times...once right in front of me. I don't know if this is common...parents and experts out there are more then welcome to elaborate...but it was w/my mom. However, she was unmedicated and untreated. Does this happen with those under therapy and treatment? What can we do to help raise awareness for this unspoken aspect of bipolar? Please...let's talk about this. Let's stop another person from thinking it is so hopeless it resorts to this.

In light of this conversation, I'll be sharing a part from White Elephants on 'The Gift' on Sunday dealing with teen suicide. MINE. My brother and I also lost a friend in High School suffering from years of depression who killed herself. WE NEED to address this. And we'll have a guest post in the next few weeks from a mom who lost her bipolar son because he wasn't able to handle life here anymore. I don't want to know any other kids feel this is the only way out.

Let's talk about it...

TUNE IN Tuesdays: Mental Illness and Siblings

2011-05-17T15:21:00.000-07:00

I apologize that our month-long posts to help raise awareness for mental health got a little sidetracked. We've had alot going on over at our other blog, "The Gift". Now that we're here today, I'd like to delve into an important subject in terms of raising, caring for/about someone living with mental health issues: sibling relationships.

My younger brother and I were closer than two peas in a pod. We had to be. When you have a parent with untreated bipolar, life could be unpredictable, unstable and, oftentimes, downright scary. But we always had each other. We protected one another, had each other's back, gave each other courage and the will to go on. We were fortunate to have had each other during those days.

My uncle told me that although he and my older uncle often covered for and protected my mom, they weren't as close. It was difficult being close to my mom because her behavior was unpredictable and her moods swung so widely. They loved her but grew to resent the negative effect she had on our family and, later on, on my brother and I. When she passed away, both of my uncles said that her death seemed to set them both free in that they could finally remember many of the good things about her.

I'm wondering how many siblings we have out there with similar feelings. Is it difficult for you being close? Do you feel resentful sometimes? How do you cope with those feelings? And for parents out there, how do you help the siblings in your family?

'Take On Depression' during Mental Health Awareness Month!!

2011-05-06T20:32:00.000-07:00

I came across a great resource for those out there suffering with Depression or Bipolar Disorder. 'Take On Depression' is a wealth of information and resources.

What a great way not only to learn about depression and its affects but how we can reach out to one other by telling our own stories!

Please check them out and pass them along to those who may be searching. I will be adding them to our Lily Wolf Words Website asap!!

As this seems to be the highest point for mania reoccurrences out there, how is everyone doing?

Getting Through Birthdays and other Special Occasions

2011-05-03T22:00:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was my birthday.

Birthdays have always been really difficult for me. It's hard to bring in a new year of your life when you have anxiety, chaos and stress around you. My birthday seemed to be a 'trigger' even for my mom. Of course it's in May and that's when she seemed to head into her 'up' cycle into mania but still...

Every birthday of my life growing up revolved around my mom being too drunk to function, too 'up' to participate or taking off. It hurt. And the anticipation of my birthday every year hurt. But you know what? It didn't hurt this year.

I was calmer than I'd ever been. I reminisced. I laughed. I just had fun. And it was okay. For so many years it wasn't okay but this year...it finally was.

For those of us who grew up with these issues around us...those of us not raising children with bipolar and other issues but being raised by someone living with them, it's so hard too, isn't it? But you deserve happiness too. Just like the caregivers here who say the illness doesn't define the child neither do your parent's issues define you. We love them. And, believe me, I can totally relate to how difficult it can be to forget how fun times...special times...were often interupted or ruined by the illness (I always blamed the illness, not my mom). But the time does come where we can be strong enough to let go and enjoy.

And that's okay!

This picture is me enjoying my birthday with two of my four children (the other two are on the right here and above right). For me, they have been my source of strength and reason to keep forging ahead.

I thought of my mother yesterday...alot. I think she'd be proud to see that I'm trying to move forward. We all need to do that...in our own time.

I thank you all for the b-day wishes and I'll talk to you again soon.

Question for today: How do you get through special occasions? Are there triggers? Share your tips/advice/insight.

Chynna's Pearls: Day One of Mental Health Awareness Month

2011-05-01T13:39:00.000-07:00

We always had each other...

Thank you for joining us as we kick off Mental Health Awareness Month here on the White Elephants blog. Each day this month, I'm going to open the floor to discussion on the various areas of living with or caring about someone who has mental health issues.

It's unfortunate but there is a huge stigma placed on individuals who have mental illnesses or mood disorders or who live with other psychological hurdles. Those stigmas are what prevent others from being willing to develop an understanding for sufferers and their families. And I'd like to see that change. But that's a big job, isn't it? How can we instill that understanding in individuals who simply don't want to understand? We keep talking, sharing and informing.

I can't ask you all to do that unless I'm willing to do the same. So, in celebration of this very important awareness campaign I'm going to do two things: I'm going to share my own experiences on these issues each day and at the end of the month I'm going to give away one copy of each of my books, "White Elephants", "Blackbird Flies" and "Not Just Spirited: A Mom's Sensational Journey With Sensory Processing Disorder".

On Wednesday, I'd like to talk about how important it is to have a creative distraction to guide us through the tougher times. And I'll share an excerpt from 'White Elephants' that shows why we need this. Today, I'll leave you with a question: What is one thing you'd like others to understand the most about your situation?

Mental Health Awareness Week: May 1 to 7, 2011

2011-04-28T13:04:00.000-07:00

Next week is 'Mental Health Awareness Week'.

To honor this week, and to help raise awareness for mental illness, mood disorders and similar conditions, we're going to share articles, books, interviews and other invaluable information you'll need to help yourself or someone you care about living with some sort of mental or mood issue.

Let's help raise awareness for these people and their families. If you have a resource, book or other information, please contact me and we'll get the word out.

Thank you!

MUSIC MANTRA MONDAY: You Are So Beautiful (Christina Aguilera)

2011-04-11T20:31:00.000-07:00

When I first started up 'White Elephants' blog, it was to help some very dear friends of mine raise awareness for bipolar disorder. I am not raising a child with bipolar but I am a child of a mother who lived with untreated bipolar. I saw how easily this disorder could tear a person down when she didn't have the right tools to live through it. But this blog serves another purpose.

I want to help raise awareness for other issues that often stem from those suffering with bipolar...at least those who aren't in treatment. We faced issues like abuse, alcoholism and substance abuse, eating disorders, suicide, violence, rape and others. 'White Elephants' refers to the issues that we refuse to see and that are allowed to grow until they become too large for us to care for.

This song reaches the core of me because it's all about accepting who we are and seeing the beauty in us even when others don't...or won't. Words hurt. We carry them around with us like heavy weights we can't drop. But Christina reminds us that we are ALL beautiful...no matter what others try making us believe.

This is a powerful song sung by an amazingly talented girl. Listen to the lyrics, hear her message and pass it on.

Reaching Out During Autism Awareness Month

2011-03-31T20:26:00.000-07:00

Both here and 'The Gift' blog, we'll be helping to raise awareness for Autism during Autism Awareness Month.

I'm wondering...do any of your children, or friends with children, have autism in addition to their bipolar issues? Are you helping a child with other issues aside from bipolar, depression or other mood disorders?

Let's talk about it this month! We all have a unique perspective so let's help each other!

An Interview With Angela Boyce From BIPOLAR ANGELS

2011-03-10T06:00:00.000-08:00

A few weeks ago, the phenomenal Hartley Steiner introduced me to an amazing woman who is doing great things in her community. Angela Boyce is a woman who understands firsthand how difficult it can be raising a child with a condition such as bipolar disorder. And she understands how hard it can be to find the resources one needs to help a child cope with such a complicated condition. That’s why she created the organization, ‘Bipolar Angels’ and I’m hoping to help her with her endeavor on getting the word out about what she’s doing.

Angela found a bit of time to sit down with us to talk all about Bipolar Angels, what they’re doing, why we need them and how they came to be. Let’s let Angela give the details.

Here’s Angela:

CHYNNA: Angela, a HUGE welcome to ‘The Gift’ and ‘White Elephants’ blogs. Why don’t we start with you sharing a bit about your background with us?

ANGELA: I am a 31-year old mother of 3 beautiful children; ages 8, 6, and 4. I am married to my devoted husband of almost 10 years, who happens to be the best daddy in the world. My oldest daughter was diagnosed with bipolar/ADHD at the age of 7 and 4 months ago my youngest daughter was diagnosed ADHD.

CHYNNA: I love that you are so devoted to your family. And I’m sorry that you’ve had so much worry with diagnosis. Is that what inspired your passion for helping children and families living with bipolar disorder and other special needs?

ANGELA: I have always had soft spot in my heart for those in need. Whether it be people or animals. When my daughter was diagnosed with bipolar disorder my husband was also battling Stage-three colon cancer, so finances were extremely tight. We were not able to afford to equipment her therapist said she needed and it was not covered under our insurance plan. Eventually over some months we were able to provide for her what she needed it, but it was at that time I knew I did not want any other parent's to go through what we went through. That is how Bipolar Angels was born.

CHYNNA: WOW. What a story. How strong you all are!!! Let’s talk more about the beautiful organization you’ve called, “Bipolar Angels”. Please tell us about this organization and what you do? What services to you provide?

ANGELA: Bipolar Angels is an organization that is here to help take some of the burden off the parents. To help ease their minds a little and provide for their children the things they need. Most often we provide weighted blankets and vests but parents are free to ask for whatever their child needs. We do our very best to fill every wish.

CHYNNA: Absolutely wonderful. Being that you’re non-profit, though, it must be hard to raise awareness and funds to help needy families. You’ve added a ‘Wish List’ page to your Website, which is a great idea. What can we do to help you with your mission?

ANGELA: Spread the word about Bipolar Angels to as many people as possible. If you know anyone willing to donate weighted blankets, vest or lap pads PLEASE ask them. If you know anyone with equipment they no longer use but it has plenty of life left in it, PLEASE ask them to consider donating it. We are always in need of monetary donations. We have a Paypal account and donations can be made to bipolarangels@yahoo.com through Paypal.

CHYNNA: Fantastic. Thank you for that information, Angela. I’m curious, do you have any inspiring stories you’d like to share with us?

ANGELA: I had went to a thrift store one day to purchase some gym mats for one of our precious children. I was looking at the stack of mats when a typical looking teenager—all pierced and tattooed up with a funky hairdo—walked up. He started making small talk saying he was buying some for his sister's gym class and asked why I was buying some. So I told him all about Bipolar Angels and about Seth, the young man who needed them. We parted ways and I headed to the check out line to pay. I went to hand the cashier my payment when I hear his voice tell the cashier "Wait this one is on me," as he hands the cashier $120. I got teary eyed and hugged the young man. That warmed my heart and gave me so much hope for today's young society.

CHYNNA: Aren’t young people amazing? Thank you so much for sharing that inspirational story. How beautiful. What are the top things you’d like people to understand about bipolar?

ANGELA: Bipolar disorder is a real medical condition. There is no magic pill to cure it. Parent's of children who are not bipolar, its ok to let your child play with a bipolar kid, it's not contagious. Bipolar kids need friends too.

CHYNNA: Thank you, Angela. From your own experiences, what should parents raising a child living with bipolar need to remember? What information should they tuck away while going along their very tough journey?

ANGELA: You have to develop thick skin when dealing with your bipolar child. They will say lots of awful things they don't mean when they are angry or manic. Always be free with your forgiveness and never hold a grudge. I know this is hard to do, when your child has just came at you with a knife, or just punched you in the face, or told you for the hundredth time that day how much they hate you. Just try to remember it’s not them doing or saying these things, that your precious child still loves you.

CHYNNA: Such powerful advice, thank you so much. Will you have any fundraisers or other functions coming up you’d like to talk about?

ANGELA: I am trying to organize some online fundraisers. Anyone with any experience and would like to help please contact me. All details of any fundraisers will be posted on the website.

CHYNNA: Absolutely. I hope any of our readers with experience will respond to your request. Now, Angela, before we let you go, I’d love to hear any pearls of wisdom you have to share.

ANGELA: Raising a bipolar child is one of the most difficult journeys you will ever take but it will also be the most rewarding.

CHYNNA: Thank you. Those are invaluable pearls. I encourage all of our readers to check out ‘Bipolar Angels’ and the phenomenal things Angela is doing there. We hope she’ll come back and give us an update very soon.

WHITE ELEPHANTS: The Introduction

2011-03-07T16:27:00.000-08:00

I received my author's copies of White Elephants this afternoon. It was bittersweet. I've been working on this book for so long, actually holding it in my hands feels...real.

For a brief moment, I felt a panic attack trying to take me over. After all, now I'm 'naked'...everyone in the world will know all my skeletons. But then I realized, that's the very reason I wrote the book: to get rid of the white elephants in my life. I've found that as difficult as it can be, once you acknowledge those wrinkly animals, and the more you talk about them, the smaller they become until YOU are in control of THEM and not the other way around.

Inspired by phenomenal Barbara Rollins who left a video book review for WHITE ELEPHANTS (thank you so very much, Barbara), I would like to share the Introduction with all of you so you know why I wrote the book. It's not an easy read...but it's an important one. This book shows you why it's so, so important to get someone the help they need.

OH! And in celebration of the release of WHITE ELEPHANTS, I'll be giving away a signed copy of the book. Be sure to check back soon for details on your chance to win. =)

__________________________

While the White Elephant is an esteemed possession in India, valued as an asset, the costs of upkeep greatly exceed its usefulness and ownership ultimately becomes a liability.

I always knew there was something different about my mother, Janet. but I never saw her behavior as “wrong.” I grew up in the ’70s, after all, and during that time almost everyone acted just like my mom, right? Impulsive, “hippie-like,” and ready to party. It wasn’t until I hung out at my friends’ houses and saw how those families functioned and interacted with one another that I realized life in my house may not have been quite as normal as normal should have been. Perhaps people felt there was nothing more they could do, you know? After all, how can someone be helped who doesn’t see the need? A Christian counselor I saw for a while described such situations as, “a White Elephant everyone can see but no one wants to deal with; everyone hopes the problem will just go away on its own.”

Just like with my mom.

Back then it seemed women were almost expected to go a little loopy sometimes. After all we’re the ones with raging hormones that get out of whack – by our periods, PMS or pregnancy and childbirth – and cause craziness and bizarre behavior. And because of those uncontrollable hormones, women are also more emotional and predisposed to depression. These are things my mom was actually told by her parents, her family, her husbands and friends... even her doctor. Eventually, she made herself believe that her erratic behavior stemmed from PMS, not mania or alcohol.

Another factor of my mother’s situation was that she was adopted shortly after birth. Adoptions were closed back in the 1950s. That meant you pretty much got what you got “as is.” No access was allowed to family health history, so adoptive parents could not be warned of susceptibility to mental illness. If anyone had been curious enough to investigate these facts in my mom’s situation, they may have found that her mother was bipolar and alcoholic, too. Hmmm... so, why didn’t anyone try to find out these things about my mom or help her? I guess no one wanted to take on the responsibility.

If my own mental state had deteriorated to the point where I’d hurt myself or those around me, I would have wanted the assurance that someone would have been brave enough to have forced me into treatment. And it angered me as a woman, a mother, a sister, a friend, a lover, and a daughter, that people didn’t do more to help my mother – that I didn’t do more.

I wished those around Mom knew how to help her; or were willing to help her, or even to help her help herself. Nobody was brave enough to take that first step. Doing so would have meant taking on total responsibility – for my brother and me and my mom’s situation. Well, nobody wanted that. Not even me.

There’s a psychological term for that. Deindividuation. You know, where everyone thinks someone else will do something but no one does a thing? Never mind. It doesn’t matter now. What matters now, at least to me, is that no matter what my mom did or didn’t do, no one was brave enough to grab her hand. But I’m taking it now and raising it up.

Janet Batty was a person with mental illness. It doesn’t excuse the things she did or erase the damage done as a result of some of her bad choices. But her story can help others. It might give strength to those who see a mother, sister, daughter, lover, wife, best friend, teacher or acquaintance in need.

We'll Be On Twitter Tonight Raising Awareness and Funds For Bipolar Disorder

2011-03-05T14:03:00.000-08:00

A group of us will be over on Twitter tonight tweeting together for a good cause and YOU are invited!

Tracy Anglada, Hartley Steiner, Amanda Lebron and myself will be on Twitter answering questions about living with bipolar disorder for 'tweeters'. We'll also be selling Avon products to help raise funds for the amazing organization Bipolar Angels. And you'll have a chance to win books from Tracy, Hartley and myself just for being there.

Here are the details:

Saturday March 5, from 8-9pm Eastern time
The Party hashtag is #bpkids
Our tweet chat is www.tweetchat.com/room/bpkids

So, join us tonight on Twitter: buy some great beauty products, enter to get some great books, help to raise awareness for bipolar disorder and help a FANTASTIC resource.

See you there!

Executive Function Issues

2011-02-22T17:50:00.000-08:00

We all have times when we feel that our brains are disorganized, that we can't quite "pull it together" to accomplish some task we set ourselves to. If you are bipolar, and especially if you are a child with bipolar disorder, the whole executive functioning part of your brain that controls planning and execution, time management, and organization is impaired to a great degree. We witness this with our 14 year old bipolar daughter on a regular basis. She has ADHD as well, which is defined by similar problems in this area, but the bipolar effect wreaks havoc on accomplishing anything in a timely manner according to stated guidelines by a teacher. I hate the school year when we have to practically hold her hand through every assignment. CABF has some great information on this problem if you want to read more. I have no idea how she is going to handle high school and college at this point. I think we will be an integral part of her success in school.

A Beautiful New Resource for Families Living With Bipolar: Bipolar Angels

2011-02-21T13:34:00.000-08:00

Over the weekend, I was introduced to Angela Boyce who has founded a wonderful organization called Bipolar Angels. She created the organization to help families living with conditions such as Bipolar, Autism, ADHD and others to get the specialized equipment they need but aren't able to afford.

What an amazing resource! In the next little while, we'll be having Angela here on the White Elephants blog to tell us more about Bipolar Angels and the work she's doing.

Please check out her Website and pass the resource along to others who may be seeking for the information.

Well...it's Official: White Elephants is now available!!

2011-02-15T10:19:00.000-08:00

I can't believe it but it's true. My memoir about life with my mom is now available!

After taking a break from playing with my littlest kiddos, I found an email from my publishers at Eagle Wings Press (an imprint of Silver Boomer Books) that read "We're ready to order White Elephants!"

This has been a long, difficult journey that has taken me many years to tell the right way. It's not going to be an easy read for many folks but I think it's a story that needs to be told for many reasons, most of which being that when we see someone suffering...when we know that person isn't able to function on her own...we need to get her help or, at the very least, direct her to seek it out.

Bipolar isn't a disorder that goes away on its own. It gets worse over time without the right treatment. My mom's story, hopefully, will show others how critical it is to get that person help as soon as possible. You may be, literally, saving a life and/or making it better.

Join esperanza magazine's new HOPE forum!

2011-02-11T21:29:00.000-08:00

For those of you who may not be aware of this wonderful publication, esperanza is a Canadian magazine helping folks find resources for dealing with anxiety and depression. They now have an online community to help sufferers and their families connect!

Once you get on the site, you can create your own profile then be able to participate (or start up) discussions, create and join groups, participate in live chats, and even share your poetry (if you're a poet) in the Poet's Corner.

It's wonderful to see resources like this pop up. They give everyone a chance to reach out, and be reached out to, at your own comfort level.

If you are a member, why not give us the scoop on what it's like? I plan to join up over the weekend. Maybe I'll see you over there. =)

From Bell: Help Their 'Let's Talk' Campaign

2011-02-09T11:57:00.000-08:00

I subscribe to the BP Canada newsletter and magazine, both of which have helped my family so much in understanding bipolar and the people and their families living with it. Today BP Canada and Esperanza magazines are joining together with Bell for their 'Let's Talk' campaign to raise awareness for bipolar, depression and mental illness.

Here is some information on how you can participate:

Today, February 9th, is the first annual Bell Let’s Talk Day to raise awareness about mental health across Canada.

For every text message sent and every long distance call made by Bell customers on this day, Bell will donate 5 cents in support of programs dedicated to mental health.

Please help spread the word!

Bell Let’s Talk is an annual campaign dedicated to encouraging a national conversation about mental health in Canada, in order to reduce or eliminate the stigma attached to mental illness. Often invisible, mental illness is one of the most pervasive health issues in the country with far-reaching consequences for every Canadian. One in five people will experience a mental illness at some point and most will be reluctant to talk to a co-worker, friend or family member about their struggle, let alone seek treatment.

For more information go to: http://letstalk.bell.ca/

Brain Awareness Week (BAW): How Can YOU Help?

2011-02-02T09:20:00.000-08:00

Before we get into today's post, I'd like to take the opportunity to say, 'WELCOME!' to all of our new followers! It's wonderful to see people joining together to share their stories about raising, living with or merely caring about someone in their lives living with bipolar and other mood disorders. Thank you for being here and I hope more people find us. =)

Okay on with today's post...

Have you heard about Brain Awareness Week? I hadn't either until my oldest daughter, Jaimie, was diagnosed with Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD). Because SPD is a disorder that interferes with how the brain and the rest of the nervous system function, I felt it beneficial to learn all I could about it as well as do my part to support needed brain research. The Dana Foundation, who began Brain Awareness Week, is an institute offering the latest information about the brain and brain research. And I have found this site absolutely wonderful in helping me understand other conditions that affect the brain including Alzheimer's, bipolar, and other neurological conditions.

This year, Brain Awareness Week is March 12 - 18 and there are many things you can do from signing up your group or organization to help spread the word to simply putting the BAW button on your blog or Website. As someone whose life has been touched with many brain affected conditions (Alzheimer's, bipolar, SPD, brain injury, depression), the campaign is one close to my heart.

Why not check out the Dana Foundation, as well as the information about BAW, and see what you can do to help!

Tracy Anglada Contest News: Draw is TODAY!!! UPDATE! We have a WINNER!!

2011-01-29T12:01:00.000-08:00

The draw for our Tracy Anglada book contest is TODAY!!!

Be sure to come back at 10 p.m. (MST) tonight and we'll announce our winner (or at least give an update if we can't get a hold of the person).

Thanks to everyone who entered and GOOD LUCK to you all! This is a great book!

Chynna

***WE HAVE DRAWN THE WINNER***

and it is...

MEL!!

Congratulations, Mel. Please contact me with your mailing address and we'll get your book to you asap!

Thank you to all who entered and don't worry! We'll have other author interview/book giveaways coming again soon.

Genetics: Will My Children Develop Bipolar Too?

2011-01-28T07:09:00.000-08:00

Genetics are very strong in my family. In fact, if you look at a picture of me when I was three next to a picture of my daughter, Jaimie, you'd swear we were the same person! It's crazy! And it's also worrisome.

I questioned having children for many years before deciding to give it a try. My struggle in this decision wasn't because I was unsure about having children--I love children!--but more that I have traits on my side I wasn't sure I wanted to pass along to another generation: Alzheimer's, heart disease, cancer, alcoholism, depression and bipolar disorder. From what I knew in studying genetics in university, such conditions have a strong genetic component and, often, males are more vulnerable in developing these things--except cancer, of course, which we all have equal odds at developing. The extra 'X' females have must be a protective factor, somehow: something to do with diseases/conditions being carried on the 'X' chromosome and males not having that extra one for backup. At any rate, it made me question whether I wanted to bring children into the world who had such a high chance of developing any of these things. And, according to the National Institute of Mental Health, children with a parent or sibling who has bipolar disorder are four to six times more likely to develop bipolar too. This is something I have thought of often during each of my pregancies.

I never developed bipolar myself, although I do struggle with depression and anxiety. I've always felt that my issues were more 'acquired' as it isn't uncommon for people to develop depressive symptoms when caring for/living with someone having depression. All of my siblings have some combination of depression, anxiety or mood issues as well. Knowing all of this I tend to wonder at least once a day:

Will any of my children have bipolar?

I don't let it rule my thoughts or change how I interact with or treat my children...it's just something that flashes in my head every so often. I watch for those early signs...analyze their moods...and wonder.

10 Things A Person w/Bipolar Wants You To Know

2011-01-26T09:29:00.000-08:00

This is a picture of my mom, Janet. I think I must have been 8 years old, which made her twenty-five. She was a person living with bipolar.

A person.

Everytime I look at this picture, I wonder what she must have been thinking about.

She never got the treatment she needed to function effectively so we never got to see all she could be. That doesn't excuse her behaviour or the things that resulted from her bad choices but...still...I wonder....

I don't know what it's like trying to raise someone with this often frightening and confusing disorder; but I do know what it's like living with such a person and trying to relate to her. I think that if my mom could have, she would have wanted others to know these things:

(1) I am a person living with bipolar not a bipolar person. The difference being the former tells you it's a part of me; the latter tells you it is me. I want you to see me in the former.

(2) Bipolar is a chemical disruption in my brain. It isn't a disease or contagious.

(3) If I am very young and show early signs of bipolar, please get me the help I need as soon as possible. As with anything, the earlier I get treatment, the better chance I'll have down the road.

(4) There is no 'cure' for bipolar but there are many effective coping strategies for me. Be patient as we figure out what works best for me.

(5) Bipolar can interfere with my functioning but with a collaborative approach of medication, therapy and a strong support system, I can be an effective contributor to my community.

(6) Words like "crazy" or "psycho" hurt very much because aside from being completely untrue, such words depict the need for deeper understanding. I'd rather you ask me questions than make fun of me or ostracize me.

(7) Bipolar is not how they represent it oftentimes in movies or on television. Please take the time not only to understand bipolar in general but my specific form of it and my triggers. That will help all of us tremendously.

(8) I need positive ways to work through my 'ups' (called Mania) and 'downs' (called Depression). I know I may not always be receptive but, please, take the time to guide me to these ways rather than getting angry with me or walking away. Knowing your love and support are there will inspire me to be well.

(9) I can sometimes behave impulsively but I never mean to hurt anyone intentionally. Don't judge me by my actions but do make me responsible for them in a positive, empowering way.

(10) My medication is supposed to help regulate my moods (my 'ups' and 'downs'). If you notice that I'm going too far one way or the other, it could be a sign that my medication isn't doing its job effectively enough. In such cases, please help me take action--even if I'm not receptive at first. And if I get to a point where I'd hurt myself or you, never be afraid to take me where I can get extra help. I'll know, in the end, that you did it out of love and concern for my well-being.

One other thing I think people living with bipolar would want us all to know, especially in my Mom's case, is that there no shame in having mental illness or mood disorders. My mom grew up in the '50s and '60s when such things were considered most shameful, even in her own family! The condition was either ignored and swept under the rug, forcing the individual to flounder around and do their best in a society that is so judging and unforgiving; or, if they were too 'far gone', they were simply sent off to be 'taken care of'. How can either of these routes prove effective when we aren't even acknowledging the disorder or the person living with it?

In my mom's case, having people ignore her illness and just cleaning up after her her entire life never taught her to take care of herself or to say, "I'm worth so much more than this! I'm worth helping/saving! I have nothing to be ashamed of!" Treating her that way never empowered her to get out there and LIVE! It actually did the opposite, which is such a waste because she had so much to offer the world.

Bipolar is treatable. It can be a long road in figuring out what works best but with the right guidance, informative approach and loving support system, it can be alot easier to endure. And in this day and age--with all the information, resources and support groups available to us--there is no excuse for any person living with bipolar to feel that shame. As with any disease, condition or mental instability, we as a society have alot to do with whether these people seek the treatment they need. So, let's do our part and at the very least try to understand...to look beneath the surface...and see the person for who she is: a person living with bipolar doing the best she can.

Feel free to add your own things you want people to know. My perspective if that of a child raised by a parent who didn't get treatment. Let's hear what those of you raising/treating a child with bipolar or living with someone who IS getting treatment want the rest of the world to know. Let's talk about it!

An Interview With Author Tracy Anglada and a GIVEAWAY!

2011-01-15T15:44:00.000-08:00

Author Tracy Anglada

After reading the amazing book, Intense Minds, which we reviewed earlier this week, I knew I had to chat with the author, Tracy Anglada. It turned out to be one of the most informative and insightful interviews I’ve had the pleasure of doing. Tracy is the perfect example of how important it is for caregivers to inform themselves as much as possible about their child’s condition. Once you arm yourself with knowledge, you can be your child’s strongest advocate and that’s so important.

I hope you enjoy our chat and, please, feel free to pass it along to anyone in your life who is raising a child with bipolar, teaching one or just cares about one. There is some great information here.
______________________________

CHYNNA: Tracy, welcome to ‘White Elephants’ and thank you for being our very first guest! Why don’t we start with a little bit about your background.

TRACY: I’m a coal miner’s daughter, born and raised in Southern Illinois. If you’re thinking Loretta Lynn – you’ll be sadly disappointed. I rate a zero in the area of musical talent. However, I did discover at a young age that I possess a talent for writing. While my talent may be writing, my love is for people. So my goal was to become a missionary and help people. The course of my life would eventually meld both my love and my talent.

CHYNNA: I could feel your love of people and your passion for helping others from the first paragraph I read in your book. Your son has a condition called bipolar disorder. People have different ideas of what bipolar is, most of these perceptions are very inaccurate. Would you mind explaining what this condition is and your son’s unique form of it?

TRACY: Bipolar disorder is an illness that affects the most complex part of the body - the brain. This disorder involves both abnormal structure and functioning of the brain. Bipolar disorder affects a person's energy levels, thoughts, moods and behaviors. The person suffering from bipolar disorder experiences extreme shifts in mood ranging from depression to mania. Studies report that half of all cases of bipolar disorder begin with symptoms prior to the age of 18. Further studies show that children with bipolar disorder display deficits in processing facial expressions (neutral faces are processed as being hostile) and in processing the emotional meaning of language.

My son is at least the third generation in his family to suffer from bipolar disorder with various other family members on both sides having the condition. He also has a learning disability which complicates his illness a bit.

CHYNNA: That clarifies things wonderfully, Tracy, thank you so much. At what point did you ‘know’ something was wrong with your son beyond normal developmental stages? What was the diagnostic process like?

TRACY: While I can look backward and see difficulties since infancy, it was not until my son was 6 years old that I truly ‘knew’ something was wrong. Before that time, I found a way to explain whatever difficulty he was having. He had difficulty with sleep and was easily overstimulated as a baby. Rocking, noise, music and light would over stimulate him. When he was old enough to talk, he told me, “No sing Mommy,” when I was trying to put him to sleep. (I warned you that I wasn’t Loretta Lynn!) But, seriously, he had to have complete quiet and dark. Even then, he would sometimes sleep for only a half hour at a time.

As he grew older, I had difficulty with him behaviorally but chalked it up to his age and being a boy. He was unpredictable and his moods were all over the place. At the age of 6, things took a turn for the worse. He suffered a depressive episode complete with wanting to harm himself and then flipped into a mixed episode with continued thoughts of self-harm mixed in with increased energy, racing thoughts, anger, agitation, irritability, etc. It was right after my son turned 7 that I sought professional help for him. I took him for a complete evaluation with his pediatrician who made an emergency appointment with a psychiatrist. I’m not sure what the pediatrician said to this very busy psychiatrist but it motivated him to work my son in for an appointment the very next day.

On that first visit he spent an hour with our family. Diagnostically speaking, our family had it easy. Back then, the time it took to receive a correct diagnosis for a child with bipolar disorder averaged 10 years with wrong diagnoses and meds in between. We found a doctor who immediately saw the family history and symptoms as a warning sign. While he did not technically diagnose my son immediately with bipolar disorder, he felt strongly that we must proceed as if ‘this may be bipolar disorder’ and avoid any medications that would make the condition worsen. Even with the best diagnostic scenario, treating the illness, understanding it, parenting and living with a child who suffers with bipolar disorder is a long and difficult road.

CHYNNA: WOW! That must have been so difficult for you early on. But how fortunate that you had amazing professionals on your side. That’s wonderful. I’d like to talk about your incredible book, Intense Minds for a bit. You’ve broken the book down into five different sections. As a daughter of a mother who lived with bipolar, I recognized each of these key features of bipolar. Did you break it down this way to make it easier for readers to digest the information? Can you describe each of these features for us?

TRACY: The goal of Intense Minds is to convey the internal experience of children with bipolar disorder. I want the reader to see through their eyes. In order to accomplish that task, I spent a year interviewing both children with the illness and adults who had a childhood onset. The children had a fresh in-the-moment perspective and the adults had the advantage of both the experience during childhood and an adult vocabulary to convey it. The result was a massive amount of information that had to be presented in a way that the reader could grasp. To that end, I divided the mood states- Depression “Darkness Within” and Mania “Riding the Wave.” Next, in World’s Collide “The Wind Changes,” I dealt with the experience of mixed states. After giving the reader insights into how all these mood states feel, I wanted to give it context. Kids with bipolar disorder don’t get to deal with all these chaotic feelings in a bubble. Living “Survival” deals with the child at school, with friends and family. The fifth and final section, Making a Difference “Plea for Help” is a call to action. I want readers to walk away from this book knowing that they can make a difference.

CHYNNA: I thought you did a fantastic job putting it all together the way you did. This is a difficult condition to understand yet you presented it all in a clear, easy-to-understand way. My favorite aspect of your book is that you had children and youth who live with bipolar contribute their experiences on the various sections in the book. How brilliant, as I honestly don’t think people have any idea what it’s truly like to live with this disorder. Was it difficult listening to their stories or was it more healing for you? What was is like for the kids?

TRACY: The voice of the children is the heart of the book. I conducted the interviews almost exclusively through email. Because the answers were so personal and so emotional for those being interviewed, it was necessary to space the questions out. Parents helped out by asking the interview questions to the youngest children in the group and typing in their answers. Participants were at different levels of stability during the interview process which meant that some had to take quite a bit of time before feeling well enough to respond. It was a learning process for me as well as for the participants. Many came to realizations that were new to them or found comfort that others in the group felt the same way. This particular book left me both emotionally exhausted and triumphant. I am a naturally compassionate person and my heart ached when I read the responses to my questions. I would sit in front of my computer with tears streaming down my face. The motherly part of me wanted to reach through the computer screen and hug the person on the other side. In order to write the book, I had to find a way to take that emotion and distill it into the book. I hope that is what I have done.

CHYNNA: I think you achieved exactly that, Tracy. I can only imagine how difficult it must have been for you to interview and organize the information in this book. You are very courageous. Another section of the book that I thought was incredibly important to include was your first Epilogue. Here you went into the perspective of a child living with bipolar and showed how it would be if he had accommodations (or assistance/support) in school and what it would be like if he didn’t have that support. It is so important for these kids (all kids with special needs) to have what he or she needs to function. As you know, with the right support they are more than capable to succeed, right? What inspired you to write this? Did your own son have difficulties with support in school/community? What did you do to ensure he got that support?

TRACY: You can thank my father (the ex-coal miner) that this epilogue made it into the book. My School Day With and Without Accommodations was an essay that I had written and was already available on my website when I was writing Intense Minds. Because it was already available to print from the website, I didn’t even consider putting it in the book. After reading my first draft, my father was adamant that the essay should be put in as an epilogue. And so it was! The right support in school makes a huge difference for kids with all kinds of special needs. That essay was written to help the teachers see through the eyes of the child and also to see that even very small things make such a huge difference in their day. We saw that first hand with our son. We have had teachers that truly made a difference and teachers that made it a nightmare. From early on, I took a very proactive approach to advocating with the schools. The first draft of my brochure for teachers (currently a free download on the bpchildren.org site) was literally written for my son’s second grade teacher. I went to advocacy training programs through Wrightslaw and spent a great deal of time making sure my son had the help he needed. That has come in the form of a 504 plan, then an IEP, and for the past year a correspondence course to finish his high school credits at home. He is on schedule to graduate this May.

CHYNNA: Absolutely brilliant! Many special needs caregivers wondering how to help their child in school should take notes here. THIS is what advocacy is. Thank you for sharing all of that. Can you describe what the main symptoms are for bipolar disorder in our children and at what point caregivers need to be concerned that it’s more than moodiness ‘typical’ for his age?

TRACY: The primary symptoms of bipolar disorder include both depression (lack of motivation, reduced energy, difficulty concentrating, thoughts of death, self-harm or risk taking, crying spells, anger or irritability and altered sleeping and eating patterns) and mania (overtalkativeness, irritability, decreased need for sleep, grandiosity, hypersexuality, racing thoughts, and increased goal-directed activities). Children with bipolar disorder may suffer from chronic irritability, abrupt changes in mood and energy levels, low tolerance for frustration, sudden changes in thinking and odd or oppositional behaviors. Even prior to full blown symptoms, children who later go on to develop bipolar disorder frequently have difficulty with anxiety and attention. If your family has a history of bipolar disorder and you begin to see signs in your child, it is good to have him or her evaluated by a child psychiatrist. Symptoms that interfere with the child's ability to be safe, happy, make friends, and function within the family should be of concern. If they are interfering in these ways, the child should be evaluated. Even if he or she is suffering from a different condition, it's still important to address.

CHYNNA: I appreciate you breaking all of that down for us as we can see how many of these symptoms can appear as other conditions. How are things for your son today?

TRACY: We had some difficult months this past autumn. After a series of stressful events which included the death of a family friend, my son destabilized. Stress can trigger a worsening of symptoms in people with bipolar disorder. Fortunately, we have a good doctor and supportive family who helped us through. After some medication changes, he is back on track and as of today he is doing great. Bipolar disorder is very treatable but it takes vigilance to keep it under control. As he approaches adulthood, we have been working to help him self-identify mood changes, self-report to the doctor and stay consistent with taking his medication. I’m pleased to say he has avoided the pitfalls of drugs and alcohol and has made friends with people who will encourage him along a healthy path.

CHYNNA: Isn’t that fantastic! How inspiring to hear that he’s getting strong peer support. That is so important, especially in the teen years. I’m so glad to hear things are going good for him right now. With all that you’ve been through, I would absolutely love to hear any pearls of wisdom you have.

TRACY: Surround yourself with supportive people; be willing to go the extra mile; listen with your heart; and don’t ever be afraid to write your own story.

Beautiful pearls, Tracy; thank you so much for sharing them with us. And thank you for joining us here on the ‘White Elephants’ blog. I encourage all of our readers to check out your Website, BP Children. That is a ‘must-have’ resource to add to your favorites with information, links, newsletters and so much more. That’s not all though! Tracy wants to give our readers a chance to win a copy of her newest book, “Swivel To Success: Bipolar in the Classroom”. All you have to do is join our blog and leave a comment. We’ll have the contest open until January 29th so enter soon! We'll give bonus entries for helping to spread the word on your social media accounts like Facebook or Twitter. Just be sure to let us know you did so in your comment. =)

Good luck to everyone and thank you again to Tracy for joining us. Please come back again with an update or to let us know of any events you have coming up!

Book Review: Intense Minds by TRACY ANGLADA

2011-01-09T14:02:00.000-08:00

Intense Minds: Through the Eyes of Young People with Bipolar Disorder by Tracy Anglada. (Trafford Publishing, 2006)

ISBN: 1-4120-8967-0

_______________________

This book was written by Tracy Anglada who knows first hand what it's like to raise a child with bipolar. She knows what the moods are like, the deep depression, the thoughts of suicide...all the things that mothers never want to see in their children. Like most concerned caregivers, she researched her son's symptoms, searning for answers. Then did everything in her power to understand. As we all know, once we understand, we are in the best possible position to help others understand. And that's advocacy!

The book is divided into five sections: Darkness Within where we learn about the 'downs' or the deep depressions; Riding the Wave where the discussion is about the 'up' side of bipolar: Mania; The Wind Changes where we read about the other issues children face in bipolar: fear, suicidal thoughts, personal conflict; Survivial where we learn what these kids need in the different environments of their lives to succeed; and Plea For Help where we are given suggestions for parents, health practitioners, teachers, and therapists.

What I loved the most about this book is that Tracy interviewed many children and teens who are actually living with bipolar to share their insight, experiences and thoughts. The quotes from these young people will literally tear at your heart. We can't possibly understand what it's like to live with this confusing, painful, terrifying disorder unless you have it yourself. But these brave young people certainly give us a good idea of what it must be like. They candidly talk about everything from how depression feels to all the confusing and often scary things in mania (eg: swirling thoughts, insomnia, hallucinations, recklessness, need for control and even the impression of arrogance) to thoughts of suicide. We get answers to many "Why?" and "What?" questions many of us have regarding bipolar and Tracy's wonderful writing voice makes the material easy to digest.

The book also has two wonderful Epilogues: One describes what a day in the school life would be like for a child with bipolar both with accomodations as well as without. Both scenarios are through the perspective of the child and gives a very vivid idea of why support, understanding, empathy and COPING TOOLS are so very important to how these children function. The other Epilogue is a list of many useful resources for caregivers of children/teens with bipolar.

I highly recommend this book to anyone raising or loving a young person with bipolar. It is suitable for parents, teachers, therapists, school libraries and, especially, the child himself. I am positive it will give the child the assurance that what he's going through isn't so unusual and he isn't alone.

On a personal note, the book gave me insight into what it must have been like for my mother when she was growing up. She had no support and her illness was swept under the rug. Being raised during a time when such things were way too taboo to discuss, her illness grew as she did until it, and she, were out of control. By the time she had my brother and I in her late teens, her bipolar had 'peaked'. I only wish this book had been around in the earlier days for family and friends of my mom's so they would have been brave enough to get her the help she needed.

Thank you for this book, Tracy, and for getting people talking about this misunderstood disorder.

Be sure to tune in later this week or early next week when Tracy will join us for a chat about her book and her experiences.

A New Year, New Start, New Hope

2011-01-01T06:15:00.000-08:00

I haven't been able to post as much as I've wanted to on this blog in 2010. But now that school is over for me, I'll have a lot less stress, a bit more time and ability to focus (hopefully!) So expect alot more posts from us in 2011!

We'll be kicking the year off with an interview with author Tracy Anglada who wrote the amazing book, "Intense Minds". This is a 'must have' book for anyone raising a child with bipolar, anyone trying to teach them or those concerned for them. And we'll talk all about it here in the coming weeks.

I want to take this time to wish you all a Happy New Year and hope that your Holidays were as restful and happy as possible. Please join us in 2011 and help spread the word that we're here! Let's all unite to help children and families living with bipolar!

Brain imaging identifies differences in childhood bipolar disorder, ADHD

2010-11-09T10:01:00.000-08:00

The other day, I was sent a link to a very interesting online article through ScienceDaily (2010-10-12). It states that "researchers are using brain imaging to examine the effects of emotion on working memory function in children with pediatric bipolar disorder or attention deficit hyperactivity disorder."

Very interesting.

What do you think?

How's Alex?

2010-10-22T13:15:00.000-07:00

How’s Alex?

That’s an interesting question, because it is the subject of my every day. The simple answer is he's not OK. Alex is Bipolar. His moods shift. Daily. Weekly. Yearly. He is never OK. I spend my days like a detective trying to sniff out any small clue of a mood change, charting, taking notes, observing him. Worrying about him.

He spent 10 months of the last 12 (literally, not figuratively) suicidal, dangerous, aggressive and explosive. His meds are controlling that a little, but he is Manic right now. Which is dangerous in other ways. And his meds aren’t holding that in. They aren’t ‘stabilizing’ him. And without going into a tirade about doctors, I don’t have a ‘handle’ on this the way I PROMISED myself I would last year. Or last May. Or in July. You get the point.

The fact that Mania seeps out now means that Alex is hyper (he isn’t normally at all), he is giddy, inappropriate (laughing, jokes, rude comments, butt jokes, showing his butt to a friend during a playdate, etc), and more likely to jump off the roof (or trick his siblings into doing it) than anything else. Which is, in some ways, better than the dangerous depressive side. However, as October comes to a close, so will the Mania, and the Bipolar Depression will replace my giddy-inappropriate child with one who hates the world. Who is so negative and dangerous and threatens to take knives to school and kill people. That kid is hard to live with. That kid is hard to keep safe. That kid threatens my sanity and the safety of the other two.

And my next appointment with his Psychiatrist to change his medication (they want to put him on Lamictal) is November 24. Yes, the day before Thanksgiving.

I won't be baking pies, I will be talking with the Psychiatrist about a medication that could potentially cause life-threatening side effects. 1 in 1000 chance of a deadly rash. Immediate medical attention required. Scares me.

And scare my husband so much he refuses to give our son Lamictal until we see our Psychiatrist. So...We wait.

But the cycling won't wait.

Depression is nipping at his heels and I am not sure we can out run it.

Anne

Winter Blues

2010-10-19T13:49:00.000-07:00

My mom got them. I have had them every year as long as I can remember. And now, I see them in my own children, especially Jaimie. WINTER BLUES.

Of course we now know that my mom experienced much more than Winter Blues because her deepest depressions and her highest highs happened during the winter when she couldn't be out at the Lake--her place of solitude and regeneration.

It always starts just when the air gets cooler, the leaves start falling and the sun doesn't stay out as long. You wake up and it's dark; it stays a dull shine throughout the day then it gets dark again just as we're getting ready for dinner. It's soooooo....tiring. When I was a teenager, it was overwhelming because not only did I have to cope with my own 'blues', I had to help my mom through hers. But now I recognize it and feel it coming.

For me, I just delve into something creative or do a craft with my kids or get all bundled up and go outside just to get some of that vital Vitamin D even if it is 30 below. I know, though, that it's hard to be happy when it's so dark most of the day. The darkness makes us feel dark too. In a way, I can relate to alot of how my mom must have felt.

Now, Jaimie gives me the strength to pull myself through this time of year. I have to be strong for her. I can give her what I couldn't give my mom: hope, light and positive energy to guide us through to the warmth, brightness and renewal of Spring.

Do any of you live with 'Winter Blues'? Are your symptoms or your child's symptoms worse in the winter? How do you cope?

It's Working!

2010-10-02T05:08:00.001-07:00

The automatic pill dispenser, that is. The device is made by Med-E-Lert, and we love it! No more worries about missed doses or accidental double doses! The little alarm goes off, the pills for that dose move into place, and the alarm keeps buzzing until you remove the pills! Genius.

Automatic Pill Dispenser

2010-09-20T18:05:00.001-07:00

I ordered one tonight through Amazon for $70.00. It has a feature where the alarm will keep buzzing until you remove the pills. No more worry about double dosing either: it will only dispense the pills for that one allotted time period, and not any more. You can program it to dispense pills several times a day accompanied by a loud alarm. I can't wait to see if this thing really works. It comes with a key so it can't be tampered with as well. I will let you know if it is worth the price!

Staying One Step Ahead of the Mood Swings

2010-09-19T12:01:00.001-07:00

Well, trying, that is. Even though bipolar disorder in kids looks different from bp disorder in adults, there are still definitely seasonal shifts. My dd will tend towards mania followed by depression in the early fall (mid September through late October) and then again in late February, with the same mania-then-depression pattern. In the past we waited to see the signs of mania or depression before increasing or switching a med. Now we are determined to slowly increase her mood stabilizers by small amounts starting about now, and then backing her off in late November, with the doc's permission of course. Then we would do the same thing in February. We have had too many incidents of finding about "events" after the fact, before we realized she was manic. These "events" usually result in getting asked to leave a school, or such, so we want to step in before these episodes happen. Of course, we may still miss the signs, that is always a possibility. But at least we have learned when she seems to have mood shifts and can prepare for them early.

Fall Euphoria

2010-09-16T14:00:00.000-07:00

Every year when school starts there is this honeymoon period – a proverbial ‘calm before the storm’, but each year it sucks me in with its sweet serenity and promise of something different, something better than the challenges of the past. This year, maybe for the first time, I know it won’t last very long, perhaps just a few weeks. But it is that understanding that has me basking in the smells and sounds of fall, like a visit from a long lost friend. These sweet reassuring few weeks remind me that not only do I love my kids, I actually like them.

We’ve been in school just over a week. Just barely. And I haven’t been called by any of the three schools, for anything. Sigh.

My kids awake with smiles, get on routine, and are ready for the bus long before it arrives. They drop off to school happy and confident and I leave them knowing they are in good hands; optimistic that their day will be filled with fun, friends and learning. And they arrive home off the bus filled with stories of academic success, prize winning and friend making. Life is good.

But under the surface is the reality of being the parent to a child with Bipolar. My reality. The reality that this won’t last. Which makes these few weeks of fall seem much more like a dream than anything else.

I know that the days of Alex getting up without throwing a fit are numbered. Like time is devouring them faster than I can experience them. They will be replaced with screaming, crying, refusing to get up and constant complaining about school.

I know that he won’t be easily dropped off for school, but insist he isn’t going, take his seatbelt off while we drive and threaten to jump out of the moving vehicle all while screaming how much he hates me.

I know the school will start calling to inform me of his misdeeds, of his anger, of his raging and knocking down tables and desks, perhaps even hitting or kicking another student while threatening horrible things and having to be restrained.

I know that the afternoons, when my children play and are only in trouble for laughing too loudly, will be quickly replaced with required adult supervision and cries of anger, frustration and pain.

I know that the time I now spend imagning and creating new things for dinner will be replaced with ordering pizza and rushing the kids to bed -- happy when they are asleep so I can try and decompress from another day of chaos.

I know the evenings of my husband and I lingering over a glass of wine at the dinner table while chatting about our day, smiling and bantering with the kids, will soon be replaced with military like precision focused on moving three kids safely from dinner to bath without incident.

I know that the afternoons of productive errand running alone will turn to school meetings, and therapy sessions, meetings with our psychologist and emergency medication meetings at Children’s Hospital.

I know that before the holidays are upon us I will be emotionally, mentally, and physically exhausted and the euphoria of Fall will have long faded away.

And I know that come Spring, if the past is the best predictor of the future, we will be hospitalizing Alex again.

But for now.

For Fall.

I am grateful.

For the opportunity to be just another mom with every day kids who are happily enjoying back to school.

Here’s to continuing the dream longer than any of us ever thought possible,

Anne

How young is 'too young' for children to have depression?

2010-09-07T13:17:00.000-07:00

My mom's birth mother's symptoms were detectable early. My mom showed signs of it before she was five years old. I don't remember a time when I didn't feel it. And now, I can see signs of it in one of my daughters. But how young is 'too young' for us to consider depression?

In simple terms, depression is the 'down' side of bipolar. And it's much deeper than just being sad. We all feel down from time to time. Situations such as loss, disappointment, hurt feelings, arguments with friends, etc. can all trigger blue feelings. Eventually, though, we are able to move past those feelings, find something positive to turn to and move on. For many of us, however, this is not as easy to do.

Those of us who aren't able to just 'shake it off' and suffer other symptoms, including body aches and pains, an overwhelming feeling of sadness, negative or even suidical thoughts may be suffering with depression. It's important for parents to pay attention to the seriousness of the symptoms in order to know when professional intervention is needed. It can be alot more difficult to detect true depression in children as they are vulnerable to becoming much more emotionally reactive to people, situations and experiences as they are still learning to understand the world around them. According to the Canadian Mental Health Association, caregivers should pay attention to changes in the following areas to determine whether their child may be struggling with depression:

Changes In Feelings - Your child may show signs of being unhappy, worried, guilty, angry, fearful, helpless, hopeless, lonely or rejected.

Physical Changes - Your child may start to complain of headaches, or general aches and pains. He/ she may have a lack of energy, sleeping or eating problems, or feel tired all the time.

Changes In Thinking - Your child may say things that indicate low self-esteem, self-dislike or self-blame. He/she may have difficulty concentrating or frequently experience negative thoughts. He/she might even think about suicide.

Changes In Behaviour -Your child might withdraw from others, cry easily or show less interest in sports, games or other fun activities that he / she normally likes. He / she might over-react and have sudden outbursts of anger or tears over fairly small incidents.

Of course, there are many other disorders co-morbid with many of these symptoms so don't panic if your child displays any of these changes. Depending on his age, he may very well be experiencing frustration with a 'normal' developmental stage. The best thing to do is watch him closely. You know your child better than anyone and you would know whether he's simply hitting a bump along his growth or if there is something more serious to be concerned with.

And as for our original question: How young is 'too young' to have depression? The answer is -- you aren't. My five-year old shows many signs of depression and has for over a year. She has two siblings with special needs as well as health issues of her own so we are simply watching her for now.

How to help a depressed child:

If you think your child is seriously depressed, don't panic. Depression is treatable with many choices, medicinally and holistically, in terms of treatment. Children, teens and adults can all be helped to overcome this potentially debilitating disorder. Professional help is available to both your child and yourself because, as with any health concern, depression affects the whole family.

Start by checking with your family doctor to find out if there could be a physical cause for your child's feelings of fatigue, aches and pains, and low moods. If that can be ruled out, bring up your concern of the possibility of depression and ask for a referral for assessment. Next, talk to your child's school to find out if any teachers have also noticed any changes in her behaviour and mood. If your child is experiencing difficulty at school, socially and/or academically, the teacher can help to figure out any problems and change the way he or she interacts with your child to help to increase your child's sense of self-esteem in the classroom.

The school counselor may also be a valuable resource for you and your child. He or she may be able to refer you to individual or group counselling to help children and teens cope with stress, which can help to reduce depression symptoms.

Most importantly, talk to your child. If you've seen any of the above signs, encourage her to talk to you about her feelings and find positive ways to help her cope with them, such as exercise or tapping into her creative side.

Depression affects the whole family: As mentioned, depression and mood disorders affect every person in the family. Caregivers should be sure to address their own feelings of their child's moods and be okay with those feelings of guilt or frustration.

It is not easy to cope with the needs of a depressed child. You may need help in learning how to help your child deal with his/her unhappy feelings as well as how to deal with your own feelings about his/her problems. Caregivers should definitely seek counselling too as it can not only help you understand your child's struggles but also help you understand your child's version of it and ways you can help him through the tough times.
And, as in any health concern, caregivers should be open with siblings (age appropriate, of course) and other family members the child's needs. That way, the child will be surrounded with several sources of support and understanding.

The most difficult part, of course, is helping others understand your child's condition. There is still a stigma on mental/mood disorders and our children are often judged unfairly. We can't change everyone's perspective at the same time but we can begin with those closest to our child and those who deal with them the most.

It's a start...

"Who Can I Tell? Who Can I Go To?

2010-09-03T16:25:00.000-07:00

A young friend of mine from church called me today and asked me a very hard question. She is in her late twenties, has bipolar disorder, and was sexually abused by her dad when she was growing up. I met her several years ago and we spent enough time together that I knew that she had been through hell because she would dissociate frequently. Dissociation is the coping mechanism one's brain develops in order to deal with severe stress while young, usually abuse or PTSD. A person with this mental illness will suddenly detach themselves from present reality when reminded of past hurts. The most severe form of this is what was called multiple personalities. Now it is simply called dissociative personality disorder.

This young lady has experienced so much trauma that she has developed several personalities. I didn't know it was this bad, though I suspected that she was much more damaged than anyone I had ever met. I used to be her "go to" person until my own daughter's bipolar disorder overwhelmed me and I couldn't be that person for her anymore. She needs acceptance and understanding, and a family to embrace her since her own mother is emotionally unavailable to her because of her own mental illness. The most recent "adoptive" family that she has been a part of is pulling away because of their own need to take care of themselves and their kids. I understand that one. Now she wants to know who she can call when she is in crisis outside of her psychologist, someone she can go to, hang out at their house when she can't be alone.

This is a very hard question. She is very challenging to care for. I became exhausted trying to love her and be there for her and I know that will be the case for anyone who opens their home and their lives to her. She needs that kind of support, and yet, only a very strong, very knowledgeable person could handle her when she is dissociating, or acting very depressed or manic. Honestly, out of all of the people in our church, where mental illness is acknowledged and not dismissed, there is almost no one I think could be that kind of a friend to her. I would if I could, but I know my limits, and I can't at this point. She wants to be able to be honest with friends about her issues, but not scare people away either.

Mental illness in those we are thrown together with in this life demands that we rise above our prejudices, our fears, our selfishness, and our demands for control. We have to set appropriate boundaries for ourselves and for them, but not turn our backs on them. I struggle to pick up the phone when she calls because I know she is in need, and I want someone else to meet those needs. What if there is no one else? I know what I am like when I feel so lonely in this battle and my friends don't call, don't ask me out for coffee or a glass of wine. Life is messy. I can say yes to the mess and know that it is the right thing, or I can say no and live my life just for myself. I pray I will always choose the former and not the latter.

Friendship

2010-09-03T13:09:00.000-07:00

I was invited to a party just a few weeks ago that two of my 'best friends' were throwing. My husband and I didn't have a babysitter for the night, seeing as it pricey to have one that can handle our son plus the other two, but my mom had agreed to keep the kids at our house long enough for my husband and I to grab some dinner. Time alone together is imparative to our marraige.

We had dinner then we thought we'd stop by the party and say hi.

It was late -- like 10pm, and I'd called my mom: the kids were asleep, and she was willing to stay another 30 minutes or so (she had a long drive home).

We walked into the party, grabbed a drink, and joined a group of people sitting around a table on the back porch. All people I have met before, plus a good friend of mine and her husband.

Then one of the women I don't know well, but grew up with my good friend who was sitting next to her, says to me and my husband, "Why couldn't you come earlier?"

I told her that it is challenging to get a babysitter, since we only have one that is qualified to watch our kids, and it is $20 an hour, and she wasn't available.

And she laughed at me.

The hair rose on my neck, and I said, "My son has special needs -- he is Bipolar and Autistic -- it requires a highly trained person to handle him."

My husband grabbed my leg and squeezed hard. He could tell I was annoyed and didn't want me to go off on this woman.

She laughed again -- not so much at my son's problems -- but at the concept that anyone would have to be 'highly trained' to babysit kids.

I thought I was going to punch her.

Then my good friend started in on the conversation, and immediately I was relieved that someone would come to my rescue, because my husband wasn't going to. But instead, she started laughing and talking about how easy babysitting was and how much her and her childhood friend sucked at it when they were teenagers.

And I was stewing with resentment and anger. I could feel the hot tears of pain coming to my body and I couldn't believe for ONE SECOND that someone that I considered my FRIEND wouldn't stop and defend me, support me, stand up for me and my family -- confirm that in deed one could only imagine how hard life was for me and my kids -- but she didn't.

So I left.

My husband caught up to me, and we walked home. He told me he thinks that friendships for women are too complicated. That I shouldn't worry about it because they don't know and they didn't mean anything by it.

But that is the theme of all of my friendships.

They don't know. They don't get it. And I am just destined to have friends who act like this.

Truthfully, I don't buy my husband's arguments -- that they just don't know so I should ignore it.

Because what if I told my friends that my son has a rare form of Cancer that requires medication every single day of his life, that he may not survive through his teenage years, and that I would have to hospitalize him for a week every single year for $4500 a day and my insurance would only pay 80%. Would they be supportive then? Would they bake me pies and bring me flowers? Would they offer to hold fundraisers for me and ask for prayers at their church? Would they?

And then, when I stood at their party, and said we couldn't get a babysitter for my son because it required too much money to have someone 'trained' to take care of his medical needs, and someone I didn't know laughed at that -- don't you think that my friends would JUMP to my defense and quickly inform the unknowing person that my son was sick with Cancer -- and wouldn't that person, drinking or not, feel EMPATHY for me and offer their kind words of apology for making light of something so serious?

I assume so.

But my son doesn't have Cancer - he has Bipolar Disorder.

And my friends don't get it.
Anne

Could It Be ADD too?

2010-08-27T16:31:00.000-07:00

It seems that boredom is a common theme for kids with Bipolar. I am only saying that because all of the blogs I read, and the amazing advice I get from other BP moms seems to concur.

That said, the fact that Alex can't and won't entertain himself is so challenging.

Megan (another writer here at WE), and I were emailing the other day about how Alex can't stay with something and she suggested that he may have ADD.

Honestly, he probably does - but with every other diagnostic label Alex has, I never felt compelled to add another. But, maybe, that is the problem.

You see, Alex isn’t ‘into’ anything. He never has been. He has done Tae Kwando, Swimming, Soccer, Basketball, Chess Club, Science Club, Wrestling, and just last spring, Flag Football with my middle son and my hubby coaching. And every single time, he gets bored, or doesn’t want to run so much, or blah blah blah. I am so done paying for things that he finds a reason to hate.

He will also jump from one activity to another, back and forth, back and forth, not sticking with anything for more than 5 minutes. No joke. We have a rule that he has to play with something for 30 minutes -- and usually about 10-15 minutes in, he will start enjoying what he is doing, and then he can do it for longer. But if I don't impose stick-with-it rules, then he won't.

I am now starting to wonder if Alex's lack on interest in anything -- or need to jump from one thing to another -- is Attention Deficit Disorder.

Yet another label compounding the challenges of this small boy.

Anne

There is no shame in having a mental illness, only in making people feel as though there is.

2010-08-21T12:36:00.000-07:00

I was speaking to a close online friend of mine today. A mutual friend of ours wrote a blurb on her profile about understanding depression, which I thought was wonderful. I commented how fantastic I thought it was for people to be talking about this because that is how we raise awareness...just...talking and getting others talking. Then my close online friend started talking about her own struggles with bipolar. She said there was a time when she was too ashamed to even admit it to others because of the stigma society places on people living with mental illness. Well, that just got me going.

Why do we do that to people? Why aren't we brave enough to ask questions if we don't totally understand something? Why are we so afraid to learn about these 'hidden' disorders and diseases? Instead, we put blinders on or avert our eyes or pretend these people's struggles don't exist. That is why bias and prejudice still exists.

When I was a little girl, I knew something was different about my mom. Her moods were so wild and confusing. One moment she was excited, happy and (overly) adventurous, hugging us so hard it hurt. Not too long after, she turned anxious, worried and paranoid, ignoring us or pushing us out of her way. Then, worst of all, was her rage, where she yelled, cursed and beat us. THIS is what I understood about my mom's bipolar because we had no information on it. And no one else would see it. Admitting my mom had a problem meant they had to talk about it or help her deal with it. No one was brave enough to on that responsibility. So she never learned to take responsibility for herself or the things she did when she was raging or manic. And instead of helping her, observers took advantage of her or, even worse, made fun of her. This is not how we help people in pain.

Alot of the reason people with mental illnesses don't get help is because society makes them feel ashamed for being ill. Then, like my mother, they won't admit there is a serious problem, don't get the true help they need then find other more maladaptive ways to 'cope' which only makes the situation worse. That hurts me because by refusing to talk about it ourselves, we are, in turn, making these people feel they can't talk about it either. And in this day and age, that is shameful.

So, let's talk about it! Ask questions, do the research, read some books, and talk to people living with, or caring for someone, bipolar or other mood disorders. Then you'll understand. If each of us does that, the stigmas will disappear and so will the shame.

"There is no shame in having a mental illness; only in making people feel as though there is." ~ Chynna's mental motto.

The Dangers of Uncontrolled Mania

2010-08-11T16:00:00.000-07:00

Our daughter Caroline was pushed into mania at the age of 7 when a psychiatrist introduced an antidepressant because of her strangely sad musings and fears. At first, it just seemed as though she was improving. Gone were the fears of being martyred, the thoughts of death that occupied her small brain so often. Instead she became cheerful, less morose. But then we noticed even stranger things were happening to our precious daughter. She became so energetic that I couldn't keep up with all of her intense activity. She began to concoct "potions" from various items in the kitchen, almost obsessively. She hopped on her bike and rode so far away, that she was in terrible danger from both traffic and strangers. We knew she had gone far when she described where she had ended up and it was not a place we had taken her before, but she knew it in detail. We were horrified and locked up her bike. Then she broke into an abandoned house a few houses down from us and decided she would live there. The police officer couldn't believe a 7 year old girl would be so bold and so thorough at removing all the window glass from one window. Then another day I literally caught her by the hands as she was hanging out her second story window. She could have been seriously hurt or even died. But she laughed about it, thinking it was great fun. The frenetic energy and the fearlessness were all signs that she was dangerously manic, which we didn't know at the time. A few weeks later she was hospitalized after grabbing an ax and trying to chop down the door on our shed where we put her bike, then she held the ax up to her neck and threatened to kill herself. We will never forget that awful day. Trileptal stopped the craziness, but we were shell shocked nonetheless.

Mania is Just Crazy

2010-08-11T10:00:00.000-07:00

I know so many people who totally shrug off my son's mania.

"He's just happy!" They say, as if I want him to NOT be happy. "He is just laughing, all kids laugh."

But you know what, it isn't just that. It isn't the laughing or the smiling or the rushing through the house -- it is the fact that those things are symptoms of a horrible mental illness rearing its ugly head again.

Mania.

I am no expert, but I can tell you that Mania is just as grating as Depression.

With depression I am fearful -- and honestly annoyed -- of the constant negativity. The "I hate" and the "Life sucks" and the "I wish I were dead." is not only scary, but it gets old living with someone (especially a child!) who is so negative all the time. ALL THE TIME.

But Mania has its scary and annoying things pieces too -- like what he will talk his siblings into (thankfully they get that he tells them to do things they shouldn't do, like get in the dryer so he can turn it on), but it is also ANNOYING to have a child running full speed through the house cackling like a giddy witch. Or making high pitched baby talk with his stuffed animals. It drives me NUTS.

Today, as he rushes, missing virtually every stair on his way down, I stop him.

"Alex. Slow down. How are you feeling?" I ask.

He giggles. And then giggles harder.

"Alex, your body is rushing around too happy. Remember how we want to keep your mood not too high and not too low?" I ask, trying to bring some level of mindfulness to his behavior.

"Yeah." He snickers.

"Well this is too much. What happened with your medicine today?" I ask. Alex goes to summer school because it is impossible for him to stay home safely all day. His teacher had told me that when she gave him his meds (Risperidone) that he said it didn't squirt in his mouth -- she didn't want to give it to him again, understandably, so she wasn't sure. Since he isn't asleep, I am guessing he didn't have it. And hence Mania is here.

"It didn't squirt in." He says shrugging me off.

I explain to him again about his mood, and that it is dangerous to be super high spirited like this and I need him to think a little bit more about what he is doing. He laughs, a laugh that the Joker on Batman would be envious of.

"I can't think at all." Alex says.

"You can't think at all?" I echo.

"No, I just can't think." He says grabbing his head with both hands and sitting on the couch.

This is the second issue I have had today -- this morning he grabbed his head and said his brain hurts. Does he actually feel something is awry in his head??

I finally just set him and his siblings all at the kitchen table, where I can see them, and gave them playdoh. Anything to wind down the chaos and Mania.

Trust me when I say that Mania is just CRAZY.

Hope you are having a good week,
Anne

Understanding Mania

2010-08-10T22:31:00.000-07:00

One of the most confusing things about growing up with my mom was understanding her huge mood swings. My brother and I were too young to understand words like 'depression' or 'mania' and, back in the 1970s, I'm not sure they fully understood it either.

When mom was low, or depressed, she was lethargic, sad and threatened to kill herself. I spent many sleepless nights laying beside her bed when she was in this frame of mind...scared that she would follow through with her threats. She never did but both my brother and I stopped her several times. But it was scarier when she was up, or manic.

When mom was up, she had hundreds of ideas for us to do. She spent money she didn't have. She took us to parties and road trips we never should have been a part of. Once, when we were on our way to the lake--a two-and-a half hour drive from Winnipeg, Manitoba to West Hawk Lake, Manitoba, she picked up a hitchhiker. He was a poet and artist...just like my mom...so all the way they chatted, laughed and shared their views and love for art. But what if the guy had been Hannibal the Cannibal or Charlie Manson or something? She had children in the back seat!

In this frame of mind people with bipolar don't mean to hurt or forget what's important. But they forget all of their responsibilities and seem to lose all their inhibitions, which is why they need so much to be on medication to regulate these episodes. Many adults who are on lithium or other medications stop taking it because it interferes with the 'fun' feelings of the mania. I can tell you from experience, though, that mania is only fun for so long.

We're focusing on mania this week and the importance of medication to help regulate this side of bipolar. I'll talk more about our experiences with being able to tell when the mania is settling in later this week. Tomorrow, we have an another enlightening article from Anne about her son, Alex's, mania.

Hopefully this will help shed a little light on this area of this confusing disorder.

Enjoy the rest of your week!

Chynna

An Introduction

2010-08-08T06:38:00.000-07:00

Hello to all who might chance upon this blog. I am a new contributor at the bequest of my two blogging partners. Frankly, I am honored that they would want me to write here. Anne and Chynna both have so much to offer concerning living with the impact of bipolar disorder. When I first started blogging about our family's journey through early-onset bipolar disorder with our second oldest daughter, Caroline, I had no idea that so many other dear people out there would respond like they have with stories of their own struggles with their loved ones. No one ever asks for this journey, but when this struggle visits you and your family, you make the best of it and determine that you will do whatever it takes to help your child, sibling, spouse, parent or friend succeed in their life with this terrible disorder. I look forward to contributing what I can here in the way of experience and encouragement. We all pray for a cure, but until then we will walk this road together sharing our triumphs and our disappointments along the way.

Megan

Medicine Changes -- again.

2010-07-31T21:32:00.000-07:00

Things are a little crazy here still. But they always are. And in that same vein, we are always looking at adjusting Alex's meds to keep on top of things (which for the record, I never feel like we are on top of his moods. That is my goal: To become so in tune with his moods that I am actually proactive about changing medicine.).

Right now, Alex takes these meds:

1.125 mg Risperidone

875 mg Depakene
5 mg Cetalopram (Celexa)
Omega 3 vitamins
Multi-vitamin
Plus prescription and nonprescription allergy medicine

To give you a base line of what is going on with Alex, here is the short version of our medicine history, without the details:

Alex started Prozac at age 4 1/2 for anxiety (gradually increasing for 3.5 years)
Added Trileptal about 18 months ago (right before age 8)
Changed Prozac to Celexa (Prozac had 'pooped out')
Added Risperidone (didn't work well, but kept increasing trying to get ahold of behavior) April 2010
Hospitalized due to being a danger to himself and others May 2010
Changed Trileptal to Depakote in hospital, more adjustments at home -- currently at max blood level
Reduced Risperidone (too many side effects, didn't see good results anyway)
Currently reducing Celexa (causing mania)

Ok, so that is where we are right now.

I just moved Alex's dose of Celexa down again yesterday, with the hopes of eliminating it all together in two weeks.

I wonder now, in retrospect, when we gave Alex the Prozac so many many years ago, that instead of seeing what I thought was 'normal happy non-anxious behavior' I was instead seeing the same tiny glimpses of mania that I see coming on now.

Giddy laughing
Non-Stop Giggling
Touchy Feely (normally hates touch)
Unexpected hugging and kissing including kids that he doesn't know well (birthday parties or neighbors)
Crazy talking (talk talk talk talk talk)
Hyperactive movements (he is NOT hyperactive normally)

The challenge I have right now is that this mania is creeping out of a real mixed state -- which he is in more often than not during this time of year. We have just come out of our longest depressed and mixed state that started in October 2009 and basically just ended (sort of) last month -- for a total of 8+ months. The depression was scary, especially with how negative he was. He was threatening to kill himself (knives, fire and hanging) and others (at school and his siblings here at home). His anger quickly turned to threats, and threats to aggression over everything. That has passed -- we at least have a 'lid' so to speak on the danger.

All I know is that at least he isn't dangerous (more so than I can handle) and his aggression isn't peaking (see list above; it was AWFUL this year leading up to his first hospitalization). But, he is unpredictable, deciding to clear tables with one fell swoop of his arm and shattering everything on it simply because the room was too loud. Mind you, he was in his brother's room and it was his brother's train table he decided to destroy. And that was today.

If you are raising a child with Bipolar, I'd love to hear from you. This journey feels so lonely -- none of my friends really'get' this. Not one of them actually.

Do you get it?

Anne

Independence

2010-07-24T08:00:00.000-07:00

I know it is time for Alex to get to have more independence. I can tell he wants it, and I know in my heart of hearts that I am the one holding him back – mostly out of fear.

Alex tells me, “I don’t need help!” But, I help anyway, because I want him to do it the ‘right’ way. I am constantly doing things for him that he can do on his own. And I need to change that.

Usually I do it because I think that I can do it better, or faster, or ‘right’, and assume he won't, or can’t. And there are definitely things I could let him do for himself, like making a sandwich or riding his bike out front with other kids.

But I can't let him do these things because Alex is Bipolar (and still isn't stable on meds) and I worry too much about the consequences.

I worry that if I allow him to ride his bike outside without me something bad will happen; he will be angry with someone, hit some, break something, throw rocks, or god only knows what else – and I won’t be there to stop him or protect him (or the other child). I keep him from going out alone because I don’t want the responsibility of his behavior around the neighbor children. I also do it because I think that if I can ‘hide’ his bad behaviors, then I am preserving other people’s opinion of him. Something that I don’t really care about, but I know that Alex does – he wants friends, he wants to play with the neighborhood kids, and what he doesn’t realize, is that one giant outburst where he threatens to kill those kids, or says he is going to burn down their house, or worse yet – actually hits them followed by destroying their things, and well, those parents are going to stop allowing their children to play with him. That's a fact.

So I keep him in. Or supervise him on his bike.

What about things he can be independent at inside? He always asks to cook -- specifically eggs.

I fear that if I allow him to cook something or make a sandwich, he will take it to the extreme. That, when I am not around, he will start sneaking more food, he will think that he can have access to the stove and to the knives whenever he wants them. That if he was allowed to cook even ONE TIME on the stove, he would then know exactly how to turn on the gas, light the fire and during his next episode, he would use those things to start a fire – a real fire – and hurt someone or damage our home. How could I forgive myself for that?

What about easier, simpler ways he could be independent? Good question.

Alex has many independent activities that he does daily. He is responsible for all personal hygiene (dressing, washing, brushing, etc) making his own lunch, cleaning up his room (make bed, clean up toys, put up dirty clothes), chores including dishes and taking out the trash – and returning the cans to the side yard after the truck comes. He has MANY more things that he is responsible for, and each time he does them, I accept that he is going to be squirrely, screw around and otherwise create new messes. But I can handle it.

When he is alone in the shower, he squirts my soap and shampoo down the drain. The ENTIRE bottle. He is just barely getting past this, and I have high hopes that I won't have to remove it from the shower completely, maybe just a reminder each time will work. Either way, he is learning, and I am dealing.

When he makes his own lunch, he sneaks things in his lunch box that he thinks I won’t notice; which is only an issue because of his over-eating, food hording, and otherwise challenging food behaviors that stem from being starved as an infant, not knowing when he is full (sensory), and now his medicine that makes him feel hungry all day every day. But I deal with this.

When he takes his clothes to the laundry room, I know that he is going to mess with the soap, pour the detergent on top of the washer, perhaps behind it, and throw food wrappers he has been hiding behind the washer/dryer and otherwise find things to mess with. He once put ALL of the liquids – detergent, fabric softener – into the washer, then filled it with more clothes, and turned it back on. Which is better than the time he poured all of the Costco-sized detergent bottles behind the dryer – what a mess that was. But, he takes his own laundry to the laundry room. He also helps fold laundry, and puts his clothing away (to which he changes what is in each drawer, regularly, rearranging on a whim, which then causes stress for him the next time he gets dressed because his clothes aren't where they belong). And I deal with any problems that may arise from it.

I have him unload the dishes, and although I wince a little at him climbing the counters, I figure we all did that as kids, and he will live. So, he puts away everything he can, aside from the knives, which are in a locked drawer, (which, for the record, he knows how to open). But, while he does the dishes, he also takes it upon himself to go through all of the drawers, taking out other things that were NOT in the dishwasher, playing with them, and then lies that he found them in the dishwasher. “Alex, I have not used the rolling pin since Thanksgiving – I KNOW that wasn’t in the dishwasher. If you’d like to see it, or use it, or learn about it, ask.” Or even “Yes Alex, I KNOW that this whisk wasn’t in the dishwasher, I don’t use it – EVER. You need to ask.” To which he just lies more. But, I have him do the dishes anyway, because he needs the responsibility and I deal with the lies.

I have him take the trash out, and the recycling. But, I know when he goes into the garage; he is screwing with everything he can get his hands on. Last summer he took out frozen OJ from the garage freezer and ate half of it – which isn’t really the problem – he then hid the other half behind the Thanksgiving Dishes, inside of a basket of Indian Corn, which then grew baby fruit flies like you’ve never seen. He will go and touch everything in the tool bench, rearranging tools, putting things back where logically they just DON’T GO, and then my husband will come home and be upset that I wasn’ t supervising him. He is getting better at this, slowly maturing to the point that he has already touched it all and there is nothing new. So, I have him take out the trash and the recycling anyway.

I feel like each thing I allow him to be ‘independent’ with requires a great deal of work for me, to clean it up, to handle the lying, or mess, or other problem that stems from it. I have to accept the responsibility of his independence, but it is hard.

I am already overwhelmed, completely, by parenting such a high-needs child. I want desperately to teach him to be independent, to make his own decisions and to have to live with the consequences of his mistakes; that is how we all learn.

But I am worried about those consequences, because really, I am the one that has to live with them too. I have to live with whatever he chooses to do – to the house – to the neighbor kids – all of it.

So why is it that his independence seems to come at that price? Does it mean he isn’t ready – because trust me, he tells me he is ready all the time, or is it really just me that isn't ready?

I feel like if Alex showed any level of maturity at all – consistently – then it would be easier to take a leap of faith. Allow him a short leash, so to speak, to venture into more tween appropriate activities. But he just isn’t trustworthy.

Will he ever be?

I have a life of rules, of boundaries, of routine and structure. Those things were put in place to give comfort and security to Alex. He is the one that prompted our life style. But that structure – routine – predictability – has given me something more valuable. Safety.

But that doesn’t change the fact that Alex is asking for what he needs – he is showing the most ‘neurotypical’ characteristic, which is a child's desire to move away from their parents’ control, and be independent.

This is one of those things that there should be a manual for.

Yet, as I finish writing this, Alex is standing in my room, crying, complaining and pushing me with his words because he can’t figure out what to eat – and he can’t find his shoes.

“You told me today that you don’t need my help – that you want to do things for yourself.” I say, “So, think about what you want to eat for snack and find your shoes.”

“I don’t want to!” he yells, “I want to lie here and be lazy!”

I guess I don't have to solve this problem just yet.

Anne

The Beginning of A New Journey

2010-07-23T21:29:00.000-07:00

Well, it's official. I've signed the contract for my memoir about me and my mom. It was a tough decision in a way because the book will not be an easy read. Mom's struggle with untreated bipolar was emotional, scary and heart-wrenching. But it's a story that needs to be told so that people understand the importance of diagnosis, treatment and therapy.

Here on White Elephants, we will explore bipolar and mood disorders from many different angles. We need to get the information out there not only for the sufferers but also for those that see them and misunderstand. Our hope here is to get the information to you while sharing a little bit about what it's truly like to live with this disorder, to care for someone living with it or to care about someone living with it. It's hard. There's no doubt about that. But I truly admire those of you who are making the decision to help someone cope with it.

My mom didn't have that. No one was strong enough to help her.

But in her memory I will make sure others are. And do. And can.

Tomorrow we'll have a post from Anne whose young son lives with bipolar and sensory issues. She will enlighten us on what it's like to raise a child with this disorder. Hopefully, we can have others here on White Elephants who will also share their stories so we can shed some light on this issue. The more of us brave enough to tell our stories, the more likely we'll help others in need. And the more the stigma of such disoders dissipate.

Anne is one of the strongest, bravest women I know. And those like her inspire me to embark on this new journey where I open up about life caring for/about a person with bipolar.

Exercise Offers Direct Benefits to the Brain - Dana Foundation

2010-07-15T13:09:00.000-07:00

Exercise Offers Direct Benefits to the Brain - Dana Foundation

A new endeavor...

2010-07-04T14:53:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone! Most people out there know me for my work in the SPD Community through my blog, The Gift, as well as my books and my Website. I am now embarking on another area that is close to my heart: those living with bipolar disorder. Those closest to me know that my mother suffered with this disorder her entire life. The most devestating part about her disorder was that she never sought treatment. We watched her slowly slip away from us and be ripped apart from the tug-of-war between mania and depression until she passed away at a young age of 54.

Most of the reasons for her never seeking treatment have to do with the stigma many put on those who suffer with mental illness. We never made her get the help she needed--none of us were strong enough to take on that responsibility. Instead, we cleaned her messes, covered up what she did when she was manic and never spoke about it.

Like a White Elephant in the middle of the room we all pretended wasn't there, her problems grew bigger until it was difficult to ignore them any longer. We ALL suffered with her but hers was much more painful. And it was all so pointless.

This blog is to help raise awareness for those suffering with bipolar, those caring for someone with bipolar or for those who simply care about someone with it. Awareness breeds understanding and that's so important. Perhaps, one day, there will no longer be a stigma attached to those suffering with mental illness. Then people--like my mother--will feel no shame in seeking treatment.

This blog is for those who can't, or won't speak for themselves.

White Elephants: A Blog About Bipolar and Mood Disorders, Mental Illness and Survival

I am blogging again.

A Post From My Daughter on Coping With Anxiety (Do's and Don'ts from a Kid's Perspective

Knowledge Is Power: Learn About Child Abuse So You Can Help Stop It!

Second Step To Wellness Within: What We WANT Others To See

An Important Message On Defining YOURSELF

First Step To Wellness Within: Looking Inside

Wellness Within for the New Year.

Understanding Social Anxiety in Children, Tweens and Teens (A Guest Article From Autism Asperger's Digest Magazine)

How are YOU today?

An Insightful Article About Treating ADHD from LIFE MEDIA

Reminders To Help Get Us Through Life's Toughest Times

BRING IT ON! Another amazing resource from my dear friend, Lee Horbachewski

Book Review: Daughter of the Drunk at the Bar (Michelle O'Neil)

A Video Review of My Memoir: White Elephants

Does Your Monthly Cycle Affect Your Symptoms?

Chynna's Reads...A Book Review of THE GIFTED ONES by Lisa Vaughn

Helping College Students With Anxiety, Stress and Depression

Guest Post About Runaways From Author, Kathy Handley

New Novel Addressing Bipolar, Asperger's and Adoption! (WICKED GOOD)

Finding Your Happy Place

Using Brain Imaging to Unravel the Mysteries of Stuttering - Dana Foundation

Throwing Down Those Crutches!

A Quiet Strong Voice: An Amazing Light to Follow - Lee Horbachewski

Back-To-School Article Links for Caregivers of Kids With Bipolar

Admitting My Own Deeper Issues

Chynna's Tips To Help With Sleep

Exercise does much more than the body good!

A shout out to a fellow writer/blogger over at "The Writing Life"

Welcome! And Taking Another Step to the New Me!

A Book To Help Caregivers Talk To Their Child About Sexual Abuse

TUNE IN Tuesdays: Working Through the Rough Times

Defining Yourself

Resource in the Spotlight: Zebra House Child Protection Centre

TELL SOMEONE Tuesday: A Guest Post from Author Madeline Sharples

Chynna's Pearls: Top 20 Memoirs Focusing On Mental Illness

Upcoming interviews: A Memoir From A Mom of a Bipolar Son Who Took His Own Life

TUNE IN Tuesdays: Mental Illness and Siblings

'Take On Depression' during Mental Health Awareness Month!!

Getting Through Birthdays and other Special Occasions

Chynna's Pearls: Day One of Mental Health Awareness Month

Mental Health Awareness Week: May 1 to 7, 2011

MUSIC MANTRA MONDAY: You Are So Beautiful (Christina Aguilera)

Reaching Out During Autism Awareness Month

An Interview With Angela Boyce From BIPOLAR ANGELS

WHITE ELEPHANTS: The Introduction

We'll Be On Twitter Tonight Raising Awareness and Funds For Bipolar Disorder

Executive Function Issues

A Beautiful New Resource for Families Living With Bipolar: Bipolar Angels

Well...it's Official: White Elephants is now available!!

Join esperanza magazine's new HOPE forum!

From Bell: Help Their 'Let's Talk' Campaign

Brain Awareness Week (BAW): How Can YOU Help?

Tracy Anglada Contest News: Draw is TODAY!!! **UPDATE! We have a WINNER!!**

Genetics: Will My Children Develop Bipolar Too?

10 Things A Person w/Bipolar Wants You To Know

An Interview With Author Tracy Anglada and a GIVEAWAY!

Book Review: Intense Minds by TRACY ANGLADA

A New Year, New Start, New Hope

Brain imaging identifies differences in childhood bipolar disorder, ADHD

How's Alex?

Winter Blues

It's Working!

Automatic Pill Dispenser

Staying One Step Ahead of the Mood Swings

Fall Euphoria

How young is 'too young' for children to have depression?

"Who Can I Tell? Who Can I Go To?

Friendship

Could It Be ADD too?

There is no shame in having a mental illness, only in making people feel as though there is.

The Dangers of Uncontrolled Mania

Mania is Just Crazy

Understanding Mania

An Introduction

Medicine Changes -- again.

Independence

The Beginning of A New Journey

Exercise Offers Direct Benefits to the Brain - Dana Foundation

A new endeavor...

Tracy Anglada Contest News: Draw is TODAY!!! UPDATE! We have a WINNER!!