Book Review: Daughter of the Drunk at the Bar (Michelle O'Neil)

DAUGHTER OF THE DRUNK AT THE BAR
Publisher: Full Soul Publishing (August 11, 2011)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0615509010
ISBN-13: 978-0615509013

The second I came across the title for this book, I knew I had to read it. For any of us who have had a parent who literally was, 'the daughter/son of the drunk at the bar', this is a must-read.

The book touched me on so many levels because I know all too well what it's like having a parent who drinks beyond access WAY too often. And I also empathize with the things that a child can be vulnerable to when a parent is in that state.


This book starts off with 'Janie' as a grown woman. Her sister, Hilary, calls her to let her know that their father is on the verge of threatening to kill himself...again. She doesn't know what to do and 'Janie' seems indifferent. She cares but this is nothing new to what she's gone through most of her life.

Then the book goes back in time to how 'Janie' grew up and, believe me, this isn't for the faintest of hearts. This poor girl grew up in a household where Dad was off at the bar almost every night and mom lived with her tunnel-visioned glasses on. She chose not to see the terrible conditions that her children were growing up in or the cries for attention and help from her daughters or even what the father subjected them to. I think the part that made me most sad was the open sexuality that was going on that no one talked about. And it wasn't until Janie was a grown woman in college that she realized she had experienced abuse.

I won't go into too much detail because I think it's so important for readers to experience this book for themselves. But as an abuse survivor, I am so grateful to Michelle for having the courage to come forward and discuss the issues raised from her life experiences. For every 'Daddy's girl' who has gotten too close; for every family who has that family member who has dranken a bit too much too often but hasn't addressed it; for every girl who doesn't think she's been abused, but who can't see the situation the way it should be; for every child who has been neglected and wants to be defined for who you are rather than what you've gone through, you need to read this book.

I was one of those kids but, like Michelle, refused to be a statistic.

For every child with a parent keeping a barstool warm, you can be all you're meant to be.

Thank you, Michelle, for writing this brave memoir.