Could It Be ADD too?

It seems that boredom is a common theme for kids with Bipolar. I am only saying that because all of the blogs I read, and the amazing advice I get from other BP moms seems to concur.

That said, the fact that Alex can't and won't entertain himself is so challenging.

Megan (another writer here at WE), and I were emailing the other day about how Alex can't stay with something and she suggested that he may have ADD.

Honestly, he probably does - but with every other diagnostic label Alex has, I never felt compelled to add another.  But, maybe, that is the problem. 

You see, Alex isn’t ‘into’ anything. He never has been. He has done Tae Kwando, Swimming, Soccer, Basketball, Chess Club, Science Club, Wrestling, and just last spring, Flag Football with my middle son and my hubby coaching. And every single time, he gets bored, or doesn’t want to run so much, or blah blah blah. I am so done paying for things that he finds a reason to hate.

He will also jump from one activity to another, back and forth, back and forth, not sticking with anything for more than 5 minutes.  No joke.  We have a rule that he has to play with something for 30 minutes -- and usually about 10-15 minutes in, he will start enjoying what he is doing, and then he can do it for longer.  But if I don't impose stick-with-it rules, then he won't. 

I am now starting to wonder if Alex's lack on interest in anything -- or need to jump from one thing to another -- is Attention Deficit Disorder.

Yet another label compounding the challenges of this small boy.

Anne

There is no shame in having a mental illness, only in making people feel as though there is.

I was speaking to a close online friend of mine today. A mutual friend of ours wrote a blurb on her profile about understanding depression, which I thought was wonderful. I commented how fantastic I thought it was for people to be talking about this because that is how we raise awareness...just...talking and getting others talking. Then my close online friend started talking about her own struggles with bipolar. She said there was a time when she was too ashamed to even admit it to others because of the stigma society places on people living with mental illness. Well, that just got me going.

Why do we do that to people? Why aren't we brave enough to ask questions if we don't totally understand something? Why are we so afraid to learn about these 'hidden' disorders and diseases? Instead, we put blinders on or avert our eyes or pretend these people's struggles don't exist. That is why bias and prejudice still exists.

When I was a little girl, I knew something was different about my mom. Her moods were so wild and confusing. One moment she was excited, happy and (overly) adventurous, hugging us so hard it hurt. Not too long after, she turned anxious, worried and paranoid, ignoring us or pushing us out of her way. Then, worst of all, was her rage, where she yelled, cursed and beat us. THIS is what I understood about my mom's bipolar because we had no information on it. And no one else would see it. Admitting my mom had a problem meant they had to talk about it or help her deal with it. No one was brave enough to on that responsibility. So she never learned to take responsibility for herself or the things she did when she was raging or manic. And instead of helping her, observers took advantage of her or, even worse, made fun of her. This is not how we help people in pain.

Alot of the reason people with mental illnesses don't get help is because society makes them feel ashamed for being ill. Then, like my mother, they won't admit there is a serious problem, don't get the true help they need then find other more maladaptive ways to 'cope' which only makes the situation worse. That hurts me because by refusing to talk about it ourselves, we are, in turn, making these people feel they can't talk about it either. And in this day and age, that is shameful.

So, let's talk about it! Ask questions, do the research, read some books, and talk to people living with, or caring for someone, bipolar or other mood disorders. Then you'll understand. If each of us does that, the stigmas will disappear and so will the shame.

"There is no shame in having a mental illness; only in making people feel as though there is." ~ Chynna's mental motto.

The Dangers of Uncontrolled Mania

Our daughter Caroline was pushed into mania at the age of 7 when a psychiatrist introduced an antidepressant because of her strangely sad musings and fears. At first, it just seemed as though she was improving. Gone were the fears of being martyred, the thoughts of death that occupied her small brain so often. Instead she became cheerful, less morose. But then we noticed even stranger things were happening to our precious daughter. She became so energetic that I couldn't keep up with all of her intense activity. She began to concoct "potions" from various items in the kitchen, almost obsessively. She hopped on her bike and rode so far away, that she was in terrible danger from both traffic and strangers. We knew she had gone far when she described where she had ended up and it was not a place we had taken her before, but she knew it in detail. We were horrified and locked up her bike. Then she broke into an abandoned house a few houses down from us and decided she would live there. The police officer couldn't believe a 7 year old girl would be so bold and so thorough at removing all the window glass from one window. Then another day I literally caught her by the hands as she was hanging out her second story window. She could have been seriously hurt or even died. But she laughed about it, thinking it was great fun. The frenetic energy and the fearlessness were all signs that she was dangerously manic, which we didn't know at the time. A few weeks later she was hospitalized after grabbing an ax and trying to chop down the door on our shed where we put her bike, then she held the ax up to her neck and threatened to kill herself. We will never forget that awful day. Trileptal stopped the craziness, but we were shell shocked nonetheless.

Mania is Just Crazy

I know so many people who totally shrug off my son's mania. 

"He's just happy!"  They say, as if I want him to NOT be happy.  "He is just laughing, all kids laugh." 

But you know what, it isn't just that.  It isn't the laughing or the smiling or the rushing through the house -- it is the fact that those things are symptoms of a horrible mental illness rearing its ugly head again. 

Mania.

I am no expert, but I can tell you that Mania is just as grating as Depression.

With depression I am fearful -- and honestly annoyed -- of the constant negativity.  The "I hate" and the "Life sucks" and the "I wish I were dead."  is not only scary, but it gets old living with someone (especially a child!) who is so negative all the time.  ALL THE TIME.

But Mania has its scary and annoying things pieces too -- like what he will talk his siblings into (thankfully they get that he tells them to do things they shouldn't do, like get in the dryer so he can turn it on), but it is also ANNOYING to have a child running full speed through the house cackling like a giddy witch.  Or making high pitched baby talk with his stuffed animals.  It drives me NUTS.

Today, as he rushes, missing virtually every stair on his way down, I stop him.

"Alex.  Slow down.  How are you feeling?"  I ask.

He giggles.  And then giggles harder.

"Alex, your body is rushing around too happy.  Remember how we want to keep your mood not too high and not too low?"  I ask, trying to bring some level of mindfulness to his behavior.

"Yeah." He snickers.

"Well this is too much.  What happened with your medicine today?"  I ask.  Alex goes to summer school because it is impossible for him to stay home safely all day.  His teacher had told me that when she gave him his meds (Risperidone) that he said it didn't squirt in his mouth -- she didn't want to give it to him again, understandably, so she wasn't sure.  Since he isn't asleep, I am guessing he didn't have it.  And hence Mania is here.

"It didn't squirt in." He says shrugging me off.

I explain to him again about his mood, and that it is dangerous to be super high spirited like this and I need him to think a little bit more about what he is doing.  He laughs, a laugh that the Joker on Batman would be envious of.

"I can't think at all."  Alex says.

"You can't think at all?" I echo. 

"No, I just can't think."  He says grabbing his head with both hands and sitting on the couch.

This is the second issue I have had today -- this morning he grabbed his head and said his brain hurts.  Does he actually feel something is awry in his head??

I finally just set him and his siblings all at the kitchen table, where I can see them, and gave them playdoh.  Anything to wind down the chaos and Mania.

Trust me when I say that Mania is just CRAZY.

Hope you are having a good week,
Anne

Understanding Mania

One of the most confusing things about growing up with my mom was understanding her huge mood swings. My brother and I were too young to understand words like 'depression' or 'mania' and, back in the 1970s, I'm not sure they fully understood it either.

When mom was low, or depressed, she was lethargic, sad and threatened to kill herself. I spent many sleepless nights laying beside her bed when she was in this frame of mind...scared that she would follow through with her threats. She never did but both my brother and I stopped her several times. But it was scarier when she was up, or manic.

When mom was up, she had hundreds of ideas for us to do. She spent money she didn't have. She took us to parties and road trips we never should have been a part of. Once, when we were on our way to the lake--a two-and-a half hour drive from Winnipeg, Manitoba to West Hawk Lake, Manitoba, she picked up a hitchhiker. He was a poet and artist...just like my mom...so all the way they chatted, laughed and shared their views and love for art. But what if the guy had been Hannibal the Cannibal or Charlie Manson or something? She had children in the back seat!

In this frame of mind people with bipolar don't mean to hurt or forget what's important. But they forget all of their responsibilities and seem to lose all their inhibitions, which is why they need so much to be on medication to regulate these episodes. Many adults who are on lithium or other medications stop taking it because it interferes with the 'fun' feelings of the mania. I can tell you from experience, though, that mania is only fun for so long.

We're focusing on mania this week and the importance of medication to help regulate this side of bipolar. I'll talk more about our experiences with being able to tell when the mania is settling in later this week. Tomorrow, we have an another enlightening article from Anne about her son, Alex's, mania.

Hopefully this will help shed a little light on this area of this confusing disorder.

Enjoy the rest of your week!

Chynna

An Introduction

Hello to all who might chance upon this blog. I am a new contributor at the bequest of my two blogging partners. Frankly, I am honored that they would want me to write here. Anne and Chynna both have so much to offer concerning living with the impact of bipolar disorder. When I first started blogging about our family's journey through early-onset bipolar disorder with our second oldest daughter, Caroline, I had no idea that so many other dear people out there would respond like they have with stories of their own struggles with their loved ones. No one ever asks for this journey, but when this struggle visits you and your family, you make the best of it and determine that you will do whatever it takes to help your child, sibling, spouse, parent or friend succeed in their life with this terrible disorder. I look forward to contributing what I can here in the way of experience and encouragement. We all pray for a cure, but until then we will walk this road together sharing our triumphs and our disappointments along the way.

Megan